Wednesday, September 30, 2009

When Stumbling Out of the DBR Matrix These Are Great First Steps

Or you might consider this part of your escape route when deciding which pill to take when you decide to get out of **DBR-Ville!!

This scene is from the television show The Game. I have mixed feelings about this show overall but this was an excellent example of what a woman should be doing with her life. In case you can't watch it from work the female lead is treating a patient who overhears a c conversation. She offers counsel to her by referencing women who style their hair a certain way as a metaphor for not taking chances in life and weeding out those who would hold her back.

I loved the fact this older woman gave such common sense, no-nonsense advice to the younger (still confused) woman. Her advice is to NOT let OTHER people dictate the standards by which you live! Skip ahead to the portion starting at 1:45 and end at 6:00. A quick backstory: this series is about the relationship between a med student and her NFL player boyfriend. It is based on the real-life story of Staci Robinson who wrote a book titled "Interceptions".

For the series to work the guy is supposed to be decent underneath blah blah blah but honestly he seems to be a lesser value man and the female lead isn't setting high enough standards - which is why their problems constantly obstruct the relationship. They often break up and during one of their off periods he impregnated another woman. The ensuing conflicts from the conflict is why they're not together during this period and the female lead makes another poor decision by sexing her supervisor. This show is a paint-it-by-numbers of WHAT NOT TO DO!

In TV-land things will be wrapped up but the reality is far more tenuous and can have negative generational ramifications. Of course because the male leads on this series are supposed to be a high-profile individuals the implied message here seems to be that any woman who chooses to be with them is going to have to tolerate a lot. Next!

Last time I checked a pig wearing lipstick is still...just...a...pig.

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

How Black Women Stuck In the DBR Matrix Fall Down The Rabbit Hole Even Further

We don't have to stay in the Matrix.

I have a lot of sympathy for the young woman featured in this segment. This was from a Tyra Show episode on racial perception. It had the usual discriminatory attitudes and inflammatory behavior but this woman is clearly hurting and very very confused. She's adopted the negative attitudes and insecurities stemming from black men who reject women with features like hers. To add further insult to injury she believes the lie that other men would also reject her.

I was relieved that Tyra kept insisting that her experiences directly related to the men she's been dating. I'd also add that I suspect some other people in her life are also guilty of stomping on a more positive and accurate outlook that prevents her from being her best and living her fullest life. Hopefully she listened and some of that disordered thinking has been expelled.

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Monday, September 28, 2009

Reality Star Ruby Discusses Her Life

Reality tv star Ruby was featured on a segment of the Wendy Williams Show last week. I've been pleasantly surprised that the tv version of Wendy is much more personable than radio Wendy. She's had some interesting guests on. During this interview Ruby discusses her 300 lb. weight loss, the struggles of changing your palate and why careful observation of portion size is necessary. She also goes into some details of her personal life an hopes for her future.

Ruby mentions the mind/body connection and how one's mindset can be a stumbling block. I think anyone looking to lose a significant amount of weight has to resolve the underlying issues surrounding their initial weight gain. For some all it takes is a change in eating habits and the addition of an exercise routine. Others need more support.

To successfully let go of the past we have to move forward. Ruby has been an inspiration of sorts because she is someone most would have written off. It's nice to see an example of a determined woman willing to make every effort at change.

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Sunday, September 27, 2009

Polanski, Phillips, Kelly and Other Would-Be Predators

Well this is interesting. Director Roman Polanski has been detained by the Swiss gov't after he flew there to attend a film festival. The United States will possibly seek his extradition after he fled the country during his rape trial in the 1970's. This is one case that has always "baffled" me. I always felt as if a) Polanski got away with the alleged sexual assault of a 13 year-old b) if so then her mother should have been prosecuted right along beside him for allowing the situation to unfold the way it did c) male privilege, specifically white male privilege trumped everything d) how serious was the US gov't in prosecuting the case knowing he lived in France the entire time.

In light of the most recent allegations from Mackenzie Phillips about her own father having sex with her doesn't it make you wonder if the majority of men are depraved and how they are usually protected because they have "talent" or are inherently male? On the other hand you have this seeming explosion of (usually) white female teachers targeting their male students as well. Sometimes I don't think their crimes are being taken as seriously as they ought to either.

Is there anybody left who has normal relations?

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Saturday, September 26, 2009

Phillips Incest Allegations Continued Discussion with Chynna Phillips

I'm glad I decided to watch yesterday's Oprah Live episode because she had a follow-up interview with Mackenzie Phillips. They discussed the reaction from family and friends. Mac's sister Chynna sat on Oprah's stage to publicly declare she believed the allegations as they had been revealed years earlier. What else can I say?

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Mackenzie Phillips Follow-Up Interview on Oprah: Responses From Bijou & Michelle Phillips

After much public scrutiny and some serious blowback from family members, Mac returns to Oprah to defend herself. Who'd expect everyone to be happy with the public airing of such foul behavior? We cannot discount the fact that she has a story to tell even if it's one of such unpleasant details. Apparently it will be revealed that both her sisters have known for years about the incest - even before John Phillips' death. Clearly Mac's sister Bijou feels violated and if I were in her position I think my reaction would be similar when she asked if they knew about the incest why would they have left her alone with her father. If she's been to a qualified therapist I'm certain it would have been discussed that children tend to be singled out for abuse and what happens to one child may not happen to another. As to the response of Michelle Phillips, Mackenzie's one-time stepmother it's clear she doesn't want to hear about it let alone have the entire world know. Admittedly for a good reason, but since it didn't happen to her she has no say in continuing to keep it a secret.

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Friday, September 25, 2009

Old School Friday - OSF Tribute

Oh I really like this week's meme! It's TRIBUTE WEEK!!! WooT!

I want to include so many music artists but this would be the LONGEST post ever.

The premiere song restylist of our (ok my mom's) generation. Nobody can touch Aretha Franklin.

My favorite gypsy rock-r-lady who writes songs that tear your insides out - Stevie Nicks.

In honor of her Rock & Roll Hall of Fame eligibility enjoy a little Laura Nyro.

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Mackenzie Phillips From Rape to "Consensual" Incest - The Ways Women Compromise to Cope With Abuse

"I can't be the only one."

So says the daughter of Mamas & Papas founder John Phillips. Deconstructing the source of unresolved traumas that initially led her to abuse drugs as a teenager and up until now seems to be a never-ending process for Mackenzie. In this clip from her interview with Oprah she says she doesn't remember all of the details of when the sexual abuse began but eventually she "consented" to the continuation of an inappropriate sexual relationship with her father for a decade.

My immediate reaction is to wonder if she'd be sexually abused as a child all along and couldn't remember as a coping mechanism but because the psychic ramifications were so great that it fueled her need to shift it in another destructive pattern (the rampant drug use) instead. I also wonder if this was a scenario of "trying to make lemonade out of lemons" on a much deeper and depraved level by "agreeing" to the continuation of this abuse.

How often are we as women complicit in our own debasement to hold onto relationships from those we have familial ties with? Or to hold onto concepts and status quo? The Phillips situation is taking it to a whole other level but if we're honest with ourselves how often do we compromise - even sell our souls - for the semblance of "order"? Be it saving a "community", involving oneself intellectually, romantically or emotionally with DBRs, trying to rescue destructive or irresponsible family members, choosing a boyfriend over your child, not having a vision for oneself, being negative or whatever internal blocks that come to mind we need to have a plan for our elevation in place. Otherwise we'll get stuck or worse drown either at our hands or through the actions of others. If we're not careful we can find ourselves in quicksand instead of dry land.

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Thursday, September 24, 2009

American Writers & Artists Series with Tom Kavala

Thanks to Muslim Bushido for introducing me to this great website. The focus of AWAI is to help people develop skills to acquire financial security, independence and freedom. Like many things floating around in the universe we should take what's useful to us and has appeal to our particular needs and discard the rest. I hope this offers encouragement and inspiration.


I’m going to tell you something my Uncle Mike once told me. If you want to know who’s responsible for most of your problems, take a good long look in the mirror. If you could kick the person most responsible for your problems, you probably wouldn’t be able to sit down for a month.

Painful, in my case, but true – and a lesson I have to relearn from time to time.

Sometimes the best thing we can do is get out of our own way. We need to stop looking only at where we are and start looking at where we can be.

Here’s a perfect example …

The little guy was having a tough time. My two-year-old nephew and I were in the living room, playing baseball. I was pitching a Wiffle Ball to him as he continued to fan the air with his little plastic bat.

My wife told us to take it outside before we broke something, so I continued to pitch to him in the backyard. I’d pitch the ball to him and he’d swing – and miss. Pitch…swing…miss. Pitch… swing… miss. Thirty to forty pitch… thirty to forty misses. I could see he was starting to get discouraged.

Every time he missed I’d tell him, “You can do it. C’mon, swing for the seats. You’re the best hitter there is.” And still he missed every single one.

Now I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but after thirty to forty swings, I noticed that every time he swung the bat, he swung in the same place. It didn’t matter whether my pitch was high or low, he always swung in the same place. So I aimed at his bat.

Whack! He hit it! He got so excited, he dropped the bat! He’d never hit a ball before! He didn’t know what to do! So he just ran in place squealing with delight, with his eyes wide, and his little arms flapping like wings.

I laughed and yelled, “Run to first base.” He ran the wrong way.

I said, “This way.” Around the bases he ran … all the way home … right into my arms. We fell backwards, laughing and giggling, into the soft spring grass. It was the best day of my life. How ridiculous it would have been if I had just given up on him after one or two swings. He wasn’t a good hitter when he started, but he stepped up to the plate every time…and kept swinging.

Stay With It

Nothing can defeat you unless you first defeat yourself. When asked what was the greatest attribute of a soldier, Napoleon Bonaparte answered, “Endurance.” It wasn’t loyalty…or courage…or skill at arms. It was endurance – the ability to keep going no matter what.

Whatever you want to accomplish in life will take persistence. Nothing worthwhile comes easily. Work – continuous, hard work – is the only way to accomplish anything that lasts.

In life you will pay one of two prices. You will either pay the price of persistence or you will pay the price of regret. The price of persistence weighs ounces. The price of regret weighs tons. So never give up on what you really know you should do.

One of the greatest examples of persistence is Dr. Theodore S. Geisel. He wrote a book. He went from publishing house to publishing house. All he heard was “No”. He kept knocking on publishers’ doors and after hearing “No” a staggering twenty-three times; he finally heard “Yes”.

If you have kids – or if you ever were a kid – you know him by his pen name: Dr. Seuss. His books have sold over 220 million copies.

Then there’s the lady who went to seventeen publishers and got seventeen rejections. Number eighteen knew a winner when he saw it and published her work. The book was Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone – the first of the fantastically successful Harry Potter series. Today, with over 400 million copies sold, and published in 65 languages, J.K. Rowling, is one of history’s most successful authors. Suppose she had stopped at rejection number ten. The world would be a poorer place indeed.

Home run legend Babe Ruth also held the record for striking out.

Basketball great Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.

Harlan Sanders, of Kentucky Fried Chicken fame, is today a household name. But there was a time when, believe it or not, nobody would endorse his chicken recipe. He got rejected a mind numbing 1,009 times, but he persisted.

Talent, brains and athletic prowess are all wonderful things to be blessed with, but you can’t always rely on them. Talent comes and goes with different success stories, but persistence is a constant. Persistence is the hammer that drives the nail of success.

Keep Looking for Opportunities

So what do you do? Anything. Something. So long as you don’t just sit there. If you screw it up, start over. Try something else. If you wait until everything is perfect, you may find that it’s too late – opportunity will have passed you by.

One of the most powerful success principles is: Never give up! The choice of giving up or going on is a defining moment in your life. You may not be able to turn back the clock, but you can wind it up again.

When I was launching my resume business, I noticed that business tended to drop off periodically. At the time, my business consisted mostly of writing resumes for graduating college students. The problem with student resumes is that they’re seasonal. I’d see a spike in business for two months or so before graduation, then it would peter out.

So I went in another direction.

I joined my local Chamber of Commerce and networked until I found a couple of executive recruiters who absolutely hate to write resumes. They are too busy trying to find and match job candidates to openings their client companies have. They have neither the time nor the patience to help some candidate write a killer resume.

That’s where I come in.

Now whenever they get a good client with a weak resume, they hire me to spruce it up. I get a ton of business from them, and here’s the best part – it’s steady work, because these recruiters are busy. And since their candidates are all executive level job seekers, I make a lot more money per resume.

Opportunities are everywhere; you just need to look for them. You can look at a setback as a blessing or a curse. Just having an opportunity to consider things that were previously out of your realm of interest can produce incentive to move in a new direction.

Your choice is simple. You can either stand up and be counted, or you can stay down and be counted out. Defeat never comes to people until they admit it.

So keep chipping away as quickly as you can, but even if you need to slow down for a time … or move in a different direction … still keep chipping away as much as you can.

Do today what others will not, and you’ll live tomorrow as others cannot.

Because success is a choice, not a chance. And, you have a choice to make now – whether to be at Bootcamp or not. Choose to be successful. Decide on the kind of life you want, or life will decide for you.

It’s not your circumstances that are important, but how you respond to your circumstances. Wherever you find your vision, you will also find opposition. Winners are not afraid to struggle in order to win.

Yes, it’s hard. Money is tight and you have a lot of other commitments. I know it’s hard; that’s why you have to go at it hard. That’s why you need to be at Bootcamp. I’ll be part of a panel discussion on Friday with four other entrepreneurs about additional ways to create revenue streams. All things you can easily do yourself. Remember, only those willing to try the impossible can ever achieve the spectacular.

This article appears courtesy of American Writers & Artists Inc.’s (AWAI) Spare-Time Biz Success, a free newsletter that gives you information on the hottest work-at-home opportunities that allow you to make extra money in your spare time and enjoy the financial benefits of a full-time career. For a complimentary subscription, visit

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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Tyra Show "Hell To Pay" Gay Teen Exorcism pt 2

This is the follow-up to this morning's post. I finally got my video to download and wanted to add the interview with the 16 year old Jeffrey as well as the admission by the "Prophet" minister who says he's going to burn in hell that she herself has been attracted to women. Of course she's been "delivered" so she considers herself okay but the poor kid is damned...if he does or does not.

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Tyra Show "Hell to Pay" Gay Teen Exorcism Show pt 1

Was a real doosy! Jezebel posted the entire show and labeled these "ministers" bat**** crazy. A husband and wife duo who refer to themselves as the Prophet (her) and the Overseer (him) run a church in Bridgeport, CT may indeed be a fox. Now why would any black person with a shred of dignity or knowledge of history refer to themselves with made-up titles such as an overseer? I don't see a real mental defect. I see utter foolishness! Follow the money trail. To recap, a 16 year old (who admittedly looks more mature) had an exorcism of his "homosexual evil spirit" - only they prefer to call it a casting out. His evil spirit may be gone but he detailed how he noticed his different orientation from the age of five. He may not be acting on his "urges" but he still thinks about it.

These "ministers" of tomfoolery posted the exorcism video on Youtube. The gay teen advocacy group True Colors got the local Child Protection Service agency to remove it. The male minister gets into a shouting match with the female mentor from the group that's trying to help the teen. The female minister states very plainly that regardless of whether the teen acts on his feelings or not that he's still going to hell. They claim to have to have his best interests at heart and that everything they teach is an accurate implementation of the Bible.

Then the Prophet (which only makes me think about the fake LDS leader from Big Love) reveals that she herself has resisted her attraction to other women). How unoriginal. Raging homophobe who speaks out of "love" for the sinner preaching that something is wrong who is also guilty of the thing they condemn.

So while these adults clearly have an interest in how the teen lives his life I'm wondering where his parents are. What doesn't seem to be discussed at all is that this young man has clearly been abandoned and is in the system. I also want to know who's caring for him on a day to day basis. Neither party discussed it nor did the Tyra Show explain this obvious gap. It was all about fighting over an individual's right to live with dignity and shaming young adults with condemnation. That's not the way to lead people to discovering their own religious practice and belief system. That's telling them what they should do (according to you) and why your "religion" is the only religion and those that don't do as you say will be "lost". That is abusive and a classic tactic of manipulation. It assumes that all people believe the same things and removes options from even studying other religious traditions.

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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

About Our Children Feature On Parents Overcoming

This was the opening segment to this morning's post. Three parents who've overcome substance abuse, domestic violence and depression are featured. This was a very powerful piece worth watching. Healthy parents = healthy children.

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About Our Children Segment On Depression & Violence

So I have some good news and some bad news for you. I was watching the 2-hour panel discussion "About Our Children" with political analyst Michelle Bernard featuring Dr. Bill Cosby. Yes there were various "experts" bandied about to discuss the disadvantaged. Yes there were solutions proposed that seemed a bit preposterous because they had to be publicly stated. Some things cover certain basic behaviors that should be present to begin with - but obviously are NOT there - hence the blighted circumstances. There were certain moments that had to be encapsulated they were so on point.

During this segment three parents were featured who'd overcome substance abuse, domestic violence and depression. I will include that in a separate blog post to discuss. This is the panel follow-up which merited its own discussion. Please watch before reading my response.
What did you think? I've read Terrie Williams' book Black Pain: It Just Looks Like We're Not Hurting and it's excellent. I especially appreciated her comment about how certain black folks (of the "Christian" religious persuasion) tend to equate praying or speaking to a religious figure at their church as an adequate response to resolving emotional problems. I don't think it can be overstated that far too many black women (as the majority who attend these churches as well as give their time and money) use religious totems unsuccessfully as a panacea to resolving conflicts that would best be served by speaking to a qualified professional. Of course I don't expect these male church "leaders" to steer people in the right direction either because it benefits these institutions to keep people confused but subservient. I have no love lost for the religious fakery.

The other moment in this conversation that stood out was Alvin Poussaint's interruption of Terrie Williams. One I thought it was rude (but typical) for him to exert his male privilege by talking over her when she was on a roll. I really would have liked to have heard her finish her thoughts but whatever she was going to say got lost in the aftermath. Then he proceeds to tell a small portion of the "story" by mentioning how depressed so many black men are. Yes he was correct with his stats but he didn't tell the complete truth. It was another example of excuse-making in my opinion. Whether someone is depressed, suicidal or a sociopath is of no difference to me when they a) have not acknowledged it and sought immediate help b) these boys (they're not even making it as far as 18) wreck havoc on the lives of scores of black women (and other black men) as they lash out.

We can go read any number of posts at What About Our Daughters as the victims of these "depressed and angry" men are given perhaps their only voice in any media format. As many as half of the ten perps who committed to heinous kidnap, rape and attempted murder of a mother and son at the Dunbar Village housing complex were under 18 at the time. We can go down a list and find many cases of the depraved acts and even more depraved minds of these (would-be criminals). So while I empathize with the clinical analysis if Poussaint is that alarmed he and Cosby should be hosting their own Town Hall meetings urging immediate action and offering a means to provide a service for these "poor young black men".

Let's face it: many black men are on a collision course with death and destruction. If it's reached epidemic proportions as he suggests why aren't they doing anything significant about it? That is the role of men: to protect and provide. Let these black men step up and take over and police the behavior of these wayward males. Let the sperm donors who sired them take responsibility and stop leaving their care solely in the hands of women who've been abandoned and are lacking vital resources. Let them hold others accountable and get the help they need.

My sympathy is with those who are also under stress, who are also depressed but do not engage in domestic terrorism against those they consider even weaker than themselves: black women and children.

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Monday, September 21, 2009

Obama Disses Paterson: Beware the Negro In Sheep's Clothing

So word on the street is there's blood in the water. Obama wants New York Governor David Paterson to not seek reelection. Interesting. Some speculate it has to do with his bungling over appointing, er not appointing Caroline Kennedy to the Senate seat vacated by Hillary Clinton. Hmm - who cares? The economy is still in the toilet and many states have Govs that are acting like fools right now or have ruined their state's infrastructure. Take one Mark Sanford. Take one Arnold Schwarzenegger. I don't see Obama asking them to go away. Oh yeah I'm supposed to dismiss them because they're Republicans. Does that mean I'm also supposed to ignore the fact that Paterson is African-American? He's not half-African and half-white like our president. He's not a post-racial crossover politician either. He's part of the bonafied black elite in fact. His family is well-established along with the Dinkins, the Suttons and many others. So am I expected to ignore the blatant disrespect the Obama administration (or is it the "Rahm & David Show") have shown by PUBLICLY doing this? I don't think so. Two wrongs don't make it right.

The decision to ask Mr. Paterson to step aside was proposed by political advisers to Mr. Obama, but approved by the president himself, one of the administration officials said. The president’s request was conveyed to Mr. Paterson by Representative Gregory W. Meeks, a Queens Democrat, who has developed a strong relationship with the Obama administration, they said.

The move against a sitting Democratic governor represents an extraordinary intervention into a state political race by the president, and is a delicate one, given that Mr. Paterson is one of only two African-American governors in the nation. So Obama couldn't pick up a phone to speak to the Gov directly?

Do I think Paterson did a great job while in office? Not necessarily. I've already written about why I thought Leecia Eve or Crystal Peoples should have been appointed instead of Gillibrand and how I think he back-stabbed Eve to get the Lt. Governorship to begin with. So he can't be that slow or dumb. I was also not impressed by his whining about racism as the motivation behind his public ridicule instead of accepting it was his mediocrity. Ok maybe he is.

The lack of care in handling this messy situation by Obama is what has my hackles raised. He takes the time out to call Kanye West, he defends Skippy Gates, he rewards his other rivals/defiers with high-ranking positions in his administration but he can't say squat about the racial animus, the plight of black women around the world or any number of things that have a negative impact on the meek of the earth but he can focus on this?

I realize since Rudy Guiliani has expressed interest in running for Gov the Democrats do need to neutralize him. I am personally so sick of him claiming special powers and a superior skill set because he was at Ground Zero during the September 11th attacks. It was complete ineptitude and lack of preparation for disasters that had him stuck there in the first place. Anyhoo...I will always associate him with a 400% rent increase, mass evictions, the death of club kid culture and the killing of the uniqueness of the "old" NYC so I have no partiality when it comes to my disdain for the former Mayor. That and taking credit for the Dinkins plan to increase the effectiveness of law enforcement. Ugh!

This latest move by Obama gives me the creeps. If he wanted to humiliate Paterson this very public chastisement should do that. It has the air of a personal beef and Obama thinks it's okay to treat Paterson poorly in retaliation but rewarded Hillary Clinton with the Secretary of State position?!!! SMH. What of the unforeseen ramifications of such an action? While it's true that blacks are not a monolith and not in lockstep with each other on every issue this is still a bad look. Obama is very calculated and cautious in his moves. He's trying to deny he's black right now so this obvious lack of faith gesture is especially galling to me. Yet I already hear the deniers discussing how he "needs" to do this because of blah blah blah.

It's a betrayal plain and simple. Oh wait...I retract that. It can't be a betrayal because Obama is not a real ally of blacks to begin with. Not the collective anyway. I could mention that black voters are a fickle bunch who don't exercise any discretion or build coalitions to wield power effectively. I could mention too many focus on pulling a lever or punching a hole during a national election and remain silent and uninvolved the remainder of the time. I could mention too many have treated this president as some sort of prized calf where any criticism is taken as an invitation to fight. There's a huge lack of discernment in effect. He's not going to hitch himself to a wagon that could very well fall off the side of a cliff. Yet it's still a slap in the face with the relative ease by which Obama abandons those blacks who are not "useful" to him but says nothing of the blatant disrespect heaped upon him by the likes of Limbaugh, Beck, Dobbs, etc.

Just when I think I'm possibly being extra harsh and not a political realist or lack enough skill in domination theory and am letting an emotional reaction take over Obama does something like this. I wonder what else is down the pipe for when your senior advisors are all white men cut from the same cloth that leaves out any diversity in perspective or concern about a entire voting group. This becomes a full circle conversation about why black women who want full lives need to divest. Again, it's up to the black collective to get it together because in many respects this president will be more inclined to do even less than his predecessors (so the majority is out of luck for any number of reasons).

The Emperor Has No Clothes and I for one am getting sick of seeing him showing his a** in public.

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Sunday, September 20, 2009

Kanye Didn't Give the Most Infamous Outburst on MTV

By now I'm certain enough people have heard about Kanye West's hijacking of Taylor Swift's acceptance speech. He'd been drinking and used his male privilege to assert his opinion about why Swift's video for "You Belong With Me" wasn't as good as Beyonce's "Single Ladies". Considering the fact she did a virtual recreation of Bob Fosse's "Mexican Breakfast" (that she sparingly attributes to him) shouldn't West have been demanding giving credit where credit is due?

Lest anyone think I'm excusing the rap artist's boorish, rude behavior I'm not! It didn't go unnoticed how quickly the president's "off the record" comment referring to West as a jacka** was "accidently" released as well. While it may be true we're also observing yet another situation where Obama decides to put down blacks to curry brownie points amongst whites. I'm not impressed by either males' behavior under these circumstances.

For me the honor of the most infamous VMA acceptance interruptus goes to Fiona Apple. Whether she was speaking from the heart or biting the hand that fed her, the then 19-year-old's speech from 1997 will remain memorable.

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Saturday, September 19, 2009

Creating A Vision Board Helps U Get Rid of Disordered Thinking

I once took a sunrise yoga class on the beach in Santa Monica. Yeah...only in California, right? I have to say it was pretty cool to move into the Sun Salutation pose as the sun rose across the beach. It was during the summer on a Saturday. The sound of the water, the seagulls and the smell in the air was heady. It was a great start to the day. There's a certain aspect attributed to this mythical "California lifestyle" that doesn't necessarily have to do with being physically present there. The healthier lifestyle, less processed food and yogi aspects can be implemented anywhere. Plus if you live elsewhere you can avoid the smog of SoCal, the fog of NoCal and the earthquakes! Yet nothing quite beats Wine Country - it's a foodie heaven!!

I've been thinking about this as I've noted the unemployment rate jumped from 11.9% to 12.2% in California with no sign of abating. Ugh! A serious weeding out is occurring across the country and we all have to step it up a notch. There are so many capable and talented people who may find themselves in challenging situations right now. Those that won't keep up with technological advances and other changes are going to be left behind.

I want to achieve a certain quality of life that is not dependent on living in a specific location or having a particular job or whether I'm married. All of those aspects have their importance in a patriarchal/racist society but I don't want to be dependent on external circumstances. I can still work towards being a whole person with a full life while being open to how I get there. Sometimes it's a matter of trial and error but as long as we have breath we can get there.

Which brings me to the Vision Board. It's also referred to as a dream board. Some might suggest affirmations or chanting or meditation or prayer. There's quite a few "practitioners" touting the benefits of envisioning the life you want for yourself. I say do whatever works for you. This board taps into the mind/body connection for changes you want to bring to your life. I did purchase this book written by Joyce Schwarz.

It's the antithesis of magical thinking. The exercises in this book not only help you think about all of the things you want but help you focus on achieving them. That focus helps dispel the negativity, doubts and questions that bubble up to the surface. It's more than mere positive thinking - it's a reinforcement of reordered thinking.

Schwarz uses a sequence she refers to as GRABS:
  • Gratitude - for where we are right now
  • Release - getting rid of unproductive mentalities
  • Acknowledge & Ask - recognizing progress and getting help
  • Be & Believe - authenticity of self and knowing this will work
  • Share - paying it forward
You create a personal manifesto and take it from there. This can be added as another aspect of your life's journey. You can create a family board, a career board or whatever speaks to you. There's no wrong way. It doesn't matter where you are - it begins NOW.

For a peek at a chapter clink the link here.
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Friday, September 18, 2009

Old School Friday: Criminals-R-Us

Okay these memes are definitely food for thought. This week is "Criminal Records"

Boogie Down Productions was the first song that came to mind. I'm surprised as well but I'm going with it.

The latest MTV flap over 19 year old Taylor Swift made me think of another 19 year old's MTV-related outburst (it was her own though) when Fiona Apple won Best New Artist in 1997. I also remember people were up in arms at the overtly sexual implications indicated in this video. It seems tame by comparison to what occurs today (what's encouraged) but I recall that Courtney Love was concerned about protecting Apple from being exploited. Much in the same way others rushed to defend and protect Swift. It speaks volumes about the values people hold and for whom they bestow them on.

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Jimmy Carter Says It's the Racism - Obama Says Hold Up

"I think an overwhelming portion of the intensely demonstrated animosity toward President Barack Obama is based on the fact that he is a black man, that he's African American," Carter said.
Well thanks a lot former president Jimmy Carter. Thanks for making perfect sense. Now look what you've done. Your one statement could undermine the Obama presidential plan to remain as race neutral as possible. He already miscalculated by wasting valuable "race currency" defending that Harvard "elitist" and had to have a beer with the idiot cop. Who by the way was unrepentant and never apologized. Kinda like so many other white people who claim we're being taken over by an alien, communist, socialist all as code word for their fear of a Black Planet. Oh yeah - Obama isn't a US citizen and a Muslim to boot. Don't you know Mr. President the current occupant of the Oval Office is not a bleeding heart liberal like you. You're Mr. Nice Guy. He's not going out like you did.
Obama made certain to send his spokes-hack out for damage control. Robert Gibbs, Mr Obama's press secretary, said: "The President does not believe that that criticism comes based on the colour of his skin."
Too much race talk is like forcing people to take Cod Liver Oil by the gallon. It's really good for you but so distasteful. That gag reflex is in full effect you know. Stop making sense! While it's true that some people are actually opposed to the administration's policies (many we don't actually know what they are yet) let's face the truth here. Most of these people are straight up embedded in their white privilege and blinded to it. I've failed to see even one tenth of the vitriol directed at George Bush that Barack Obama gets.

Of course I'm on the opposite end feeling dissatisfied because I know think our interests are being sold out and rendered useless. I define those loosely as wanting a reorder of the current status quo. That includes less power by the Corporate Industrial Complex, their army of lobbyists and neutered politicians and more effective jurisdiction by the "little" people. That includes holding the president accountable to us, not them. So I really have zero patience with these people - some of whom I know didn't vote. Isn't it funny how those otherwise passive yell the loudest nonsense?

Say it isn't so, president Carter. You know you're going to have to publicly recant what you said. Obama has already repudiated you. Didn't you get the memo? We're in Post-Racial America now and any discussion about how the use of privilege has been extended to a small percentage of the population is akin to throwing a molotov cocktail into a locked room. Don't do it!! Those of us with eyes to see and ears to hear already know what's up. Trying to make sense to the indoctrinated will not earn you their gratitude - only their derision as they hold fast to their false totems.

You're getting quite feisty in your senior years, Sir. Getting to 85 with your health and mental faculties intact is a feat. You feel that you have nothing to lose. First you rebuke your church for its gender prejudice and now this. Grandpa doesn't care who's in the room - you're going to tell it like it is. It is appreciated by many but it will be equally rejected by others. Those who like to scream and use terms like reverse racism. I've finally figured out that wanting a life outside the Matrix means dealing carefully with all of those left behind is imperative. Let this president do things the way he wants. Even if we disagree - it's his right.

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