Friday, September 25, 2009
Mackenzie Phillips From Rape to "Consensual" Incest - The Ways Women Compromise to Cope With Abuse
"I can't be the only one."
So says the daughter of Mamas & Papas founder John Phillips. Deconstructing the source of unresolved traumas that initially led her to abuse drugs as a teenager and up until now seems to be a never-ending process for Mackenzie. In this clip from her interview with Oprah she says she doesn't remember all of the details of when the sexual abuse began but eventually she "consented" to the continuation of an inappropriate sexual relationship with her father for a decade.
My immediate reaction is to wonder if she'd be sexually abused as a child all along and couldn't remember as a coping mechanism but because the psychic ramifications were so great that it fueled her need to shift it in another destructive pattern (the rampant drug use) instead. I also wonder if this was a scenario of "trying to make lemonade out of lemons" on a much deeper and depraved level by "agreeing" to the continuation of this abuse.
How often are we as women complicit in our own debasement to hold onto relationships from those we have familial ties with? Or to hold onto concepts and status quo? The Phillips situation is taking it to a whole other level but if we're honest with ourselves how often do we compromise - even sell our souls - for the semblance of "order"? Be it saving a "community", involving oneself intellectually, romantically or emotionally with DBRs, trying to rescue destructive or irresponsible family members, choosing a boyfriend over your child, not having a vision for oneself, being negative or whatever internal blocks that come to mind we need to have a plan for our elevation in place. Otherwise we'll get stuck or worse drown either at our hands or through the actions of others. If we're not careful we can find ourselves in quicksand instead of dry land.