Thursday, June 25, 2009

V for Victory: The Policing Continues As Perez Says He's Sorry!

Well color me...surprised. Perez Hilton has offered a (rather tepid and fake as a $200 Fendi bag) apology. I have a funny feeling somebody read my blog post from Tuesday and as you review the following you will find out why. Let's deconstruct this one shall we? My response is in bright blue.

"People make mistakes. I have made many in my life, but this past week I have made more than I can count on one hand.  Thinking I could continue getting away with foul behavior.

I am sorry. And I mean it. No one is forcing me to write this. I am not feeling pressured to say this. I am speaking out because I realize that the last few days have been more hurtful to me - and many others - than the repeated blows I suffered to my head in Toronto this past weekend.

Pity me because I was properly censured.

I have been filled with incredible sadness and regret.  That I was vilified in public.

I am sorry that any good work I have done for promoting equality may be tainted by me reclaiming a hurtful word - that's been personally used against me and the gay community - to hurt someone that was verbally attacking me. It was stupid. 

Perez has bashed women, outed the trans teen of celebrities and a host of other vicious things so yes he is the great equalizer of vitriol.

Apologizing for me is not easy. Writing this was not easy. Life is not easy. But everything happens for a reason and I will take away a lot of valuable lessons from this experience.  Ok now give me my cookie!

Violence is never the answer. Never.   But your poison pen still flows.

Victims should not be mocked.   I will claim oppression when it's convenient.

The "F" word will never be uttered from my lips again. Just as others use the "N" word to insult and hurt - or as part of their everyday speech - I challenge them to remove it from their vocabulary as well.  Oh please!

Hindsight is always 20/20, they say. I should have been the bigger man and walked away from an unfortunate situation. Instead, I chose - in a very misguided way - to stand up for myself and only made things worse by how I - under pressure and diress - handled the situation. My ego couldn't cash that check!

I am sorry.  Sorry it blew up in my face. Don't you know I'm gay and oppressed, oppressed I tell ya!

I am NOT apologizing to GLAAD. I could care less about them, my former employers.

Somehow I'm not believing you, but maybe it's the DONORS and ADVERTISERS that got your attention!

I am apologizing to the gay community, to anyone who was hurt by my my choice of words, and to all the people who have ever emailed me to thank me for all that I have done to fight for gay rights over the last few years.

I have reached out to Isaiah Washington, someone I incorrectly labeled a homophobe in the past, despite his own public statements that he was not.

HOLD UP! Now what does Washington have to do with a situation between Perez and the Pea? Could all the hypocrisy chickens have come home to roost? Perez was instrumental in ruining the man's acting career. He owes Washington so much more than an apology. He owes him about $5M in lost wages!!

I will be donating any money collected from my lawsuit against Polo Molina, road manager for the Black Eyed Peas, to the Matthew Shepard Foundation.  

If that lawsuit ever sees the light of day - since he couldn't decide who'd actually hit him. Also the defense will be subpoenaing all his messages on Twitter, other social media and the video where he contradicts himself. But whatevs Perez. File away.

And I will continue to speak out for equality and support the great work done by LGBT organizations, such as LAMBDA Legal and HRC.




Now let me state for the slow section that I don't condone violence either, but Perez is a grown man, not a girl and not physically weak. He chose to engage another man physically. I have no idea what exactly happened, who threw the first punch or what transpired. I'm certain the pending lawsuit will determine who was at fault - or not. This is not a case of dating violence OR gay bashing and should not be couched in any victim terminology

He thought he could continue using his orientation as a shield from being held accountable from his history of instigating trouble. Many people don't have a problem with him being gay, they have a problem with him being petty and mean. Did he go to court and whine about discrimination or intimidation when he was sued for not paying license fees for the photos he'd placed on his blogs or his original logo and all the other illegal things he did while growing his blog AND CHARGING HUGE AD FEES? He may be self-made but it was made while stepping over plenty of people - of course one could argue it's the American way. So be it, but that doesn't make it right.

Perez's blog used to be a place I'd have a laugh at until the level of open hostility became too much. Besides D-Listed is so much funnier. I have also noticed how white gay males dominate these gossip blogs. You don't get to claim oppression while exerting your skin shade and gender privileges. It's time to grow up Perez. You're famous now and quite wealthy at the expense of attacking others in print. It was just a matter of time before it spilled over to real life. Perhaps you will do some soul searching  - if you have one.

Now the other issue at stake here is the response to the unexamined undercurrent of racism on his part. He clearly has an issue with Blacks and Black men in particular. I'm not here to ride the rescue wave. That's not my job, but it needs to be mentioned and resolved. The GRIC needed to police the behavior of one of their own (despite his claims of having nothing to do with them). Of course he does. Others - including other Black LGBTs - paved a way for him to enjoy his cushy lifestyle and his freedom of movement. For him to deny that is atrocious. 

We'll see if he's actually learned anything by his behavior a few months down the road. In the meantime, the GRIC needed to step up and at least give the appearance of caring because Perez was making them look bad. Like what certain white men did with Letterman, they had to do with Perez because he'd crossed a line. 

I feel a sense of victory not for myself but for the efforts toward equality and having standards that actually paid off in this scenario. I am now hopeful that some aspect of African-American culture and the lives of some women and children can be salvaged. I am sincerely hoping this was bigger than Black male protectionism. The image of Black women that has been so battered in so many ways can be pieced back together. We can hold the obstructionists, infiltrators and do-nothings accountable. We just need a few good men to get the ball rolling.

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Robert M said...

You earned your red tail on this one. Very good point about all apologizies being seen as give me my ball back.

K.C. Jones said...

I personally don't really care about his apology-one apology isn't going to earn my utter disrespect for Hilton. What I really wanted to see was an apology to the manager of Black Eyed Peas. But I guess that was asking too much...

Faith at Acts of Faith Blog said...

Robert M: Welcome and thanks for the feedback.

KC: Oh no his personal apology is lacking but his being held accountable is huge. It was absolutely necessary. This is bigger than Perez or the Peas. It's abt racism, sexism and other injustices. As I've stated people have to stand for ALL justice or they have no leg to stand on.

Enlightened said...


Great post! You are on point with this.

This is the wonderful thing about God/karma: there is NO punishment any human could come up with that would be as effective at teaching him a lesson. He is getting paid back tenfold for all the mess he's engaged in. And not only that, but he's getting it back in a way that affects what he CARES about (income, celebrity, reputation, etc.).

I, for one, am so glad to see the gay community stand up against him and not let ANYBODY get away with using language this is hurtful to them, not even a member of their own community.

Khadija said...


{raised black glove salute}

You said, "I am now hopeful that some aspect of African-American culture and the lives of some women and children can be salvaged. I am sincerely hoping this was bigger than Black male protectionism. The image of Black women that has been so battered in so many ways can be pieced back together. We can hold the obstructionists, infiltrators and do-nothings accountable."-

So far, so good. This much I agree with.

Then you said, "We just need a few good men to get the ball rolling."-

I don't know if you meant "men" to mean AA people in general. If you meant a few good Black men, then I respectfully say "forget-a-bowdit! LOL! The vast majority of them have clearly demonstrated that they are not going to do anything to salvage anything.

ANY effort/initiative that depends on their participation will fail. This is how things got to this point. We must save ourselves.

Again, congratulations on your well-done effort in support of justice!

Peace, blessings and solidarity.

Faith at Acts of Faith Blog said...

Enlightened: Thanks for your feedback

Khadijah: I know I'm a sucker for a lost cause, but seriously I'm thinking abt the Evia post abt women not riding the rescue wave and men needing to step up. I don't care who it is but it needs to be men. I'm not relying on BM though but that doesn't change my desire to see some step forward. I believe in unicorns so it's possible! Seriously once more BW realize that ship has sailed and partner with other groups of men then a few will step up..but it'll be too little too late.