V for Victory: The Policing Continues As Perez Says He's Sorry!

Well color me...surprised. Perez Hilton has offered a (rather tepid and fake as a $200 Fendi bag) apology. I have a funny feeling somebody read my blog post from Tuesday and as you review the following you will find out why. Let's deconstruct this one shall we? My response is in bright blue.

"People make mistakes. I have made many in my life, but this past week I have made more than I can count on one hand.  Thinking I could continue getting away with foul behavior.

I am sorry. And I mean it. No one is forcing me to write this. I am not feeling pressured to say this. I am speaking out because I realize that the last few days have been more hurtful to me - and many others - than the repeated blows I suffered to my head in Toronto this past weekend.

Pity me because I was properly censured.

I have been filled with incredible sadness and regret.  That I was vilified in public.

I am sorry that any good work I have done for promoting equality may be tainted by me reclaiming a hurtful word - that's been personally used against me and the gay community - to hurt someone that was verbally attacking me. It was stupid. 

Perez has bashed women, outed the trans teen of celebrities and a host of other vicious things so yes he is the great equalizer of vitriol.

Apologizing for me is not easy. Writing this was not easy. Life is not easy. But everything happens for a reason and I will take away a lot of valuable lessons from this experience.  Ok now give me my cookie!

Violence is never the answer. Never.   But your poison pen still flows.

Victims should not be mocked.   I will claim oppression when it's convenient.

The "F" word will never be uttered from my lips again. Just as others use the "N" word to insult and hurt - or as part of their everyday speech - I challenge them to remove it from their vocabulary as well.  Oh please!

Hindsight is always 20/20, they say. I should have been the bigger man and walked away from an unfortunate situation. Instead, I chose - in a very misguided way - to stand up for myself and only made things worse by how I - under pressure and diress - handled the situation. My ego couldn't cash that check!

I am sorry.  Sorry it blew up in my face. Don't you know I'm gay and oppressed, oppressed I tell ya!

I am NOT apologizing to GLAAD. I could care less about them, my former employers.

Somehow I'm not believing you, but maybe it's the DONORS and ADVERTISERS that got your attention!

I am apologizing to the gay community, to anyone who was hurt by my my choice of words, and to all the people who have ever emailed me to thank me for all that I have done to fight for gay rights over the last few years.

I have reached out to Isaiah Washington, someone I incorrectly labeled a homophobe in the past, despite his own public statements that he was not.

HOLD UP! Now what does Washington have to do with a situation between Perez and the Pea? Could all the hypocrisy chickens have come home to roost? Perez was instrumental in ruining the man's acting career. He owes Washington so much more than an apology. He owes him about $5M in lost wages!!

I will be donating any money collected from my lawsuit against Polo Molina, road manager for the Black Eyed Peas, to the Matthew Shepard Foundation.  

If that lawsuit ever sees the light of day - since he couldn't decide who'd actually hit him. Also the defense will be subpoenaing all his messages on Twitter, other social media and the video where he contradicts himself. But whatevs Perez. File away.

And I will continue to speak out for equality and support the great work done by LGBT organizations, such as LAMBDA Legal and HRC.

Sincerely,

Perez

*****

Now let me state for the slow section that I don't condone violence either, but Perez is a grown man, not a girl and not physically weak. He chose to engage another man physically. I have no idea what exactly happened, who threw the first punch or what transpired. I'm certain the pending lawsuit will determine who was at fault - or not. This is not a case of dating violence OR gay bashing and should not be couched in any victim terminology. 

He thought he could continue using his orientation as a shield from being held accountable from his history of instigating trouble. Many people don't have a problem with him being gay, they have a problem with him being petty and mean. Did he go to court and whine about discrimination or intimidation when he was sued for not paying license fees for the photos he'd placed on his blogs or his original logo and all the other illegal things he did while growing his blog AND CHARGING HUGE AD FEES? He may be self-made but it was made while stepping over plenty of people - of course one could argue it's the American way. So be it, but that doesn't make it right.

Perez's blog used to be a place I'd have a laugh at until the level of open hostility became too much. Besides D-Listed is so much funnier. I have also noticed how white gay males dominate these gossip blogs. You don't get to claim oppression while exerting your skin shade and gender privileges. It's time to grow up Perez. You're famous now and quite wealthy at the expense of attacking others in print. It was just a matter of time before it spilled over to real life. Perhaps you will do some soul searching  - if you have one.

Now the other issue at stake here is the response to the unexamined undercurrent of racism on his part. He clearly has an issue with Blacks and Black men in particular. I'm not here to ride the rescue wave. That's not my job, but it needs to be mentioned and resolved. The GRIC needed to police the behavior of one of their own (despite his claims of having nothing to do with them). Of course he does. Others - including other Black LGBTs - paved a way for him to enjoy his cushy lifestyle and his freedom of movement. For him to deny that is atrocious. 

We'll see if he's actually learned anything by his behavior a few months down the road. In the meantime, the GRIC needed to step up and at least give the appearance of caring because Perez was making them look bad. Like what certain white men did with Letterman, they had to do with Perez because he'd crossed a line. 

I feel a sense of victory not for myself but for the efforts toward equality and having standards that actually paid off in this scenario. I am now hopeful that some aspect of African-American culture and the lives of some women and children can be salvaged. I am sincerely hoping this was bigger than Black male protectionism. The image of Black women that has been so battered in so many ways can be pieced back together. We can hold the obstructionists, infiltrators and do-nothings accountable. We just need a few good men to get the ball rolling.

If These Gay Rights Groups Don't Come Down On Perez Hilton They're Done!

I think I should have titled this "I'm Done With the Gay Rights Industrial Complex". 

Yeah this is supposed to be about the big bad blogger who uses his 1st amendment rights to bash other people for laughs and profits. This is supposed to be about our discussing how it's wrong for people to get into physical confrontations. Apparently Will.I.Am and Fergie approached blogger Mario Lavaderia, who writes as Perez Hilton at the Much Music Awards show (it's the MTV of Canada for those not aware) to complain about his pissy behavior. Things got heated and his manager hit Perez, according to...Perez. It's a little hard to tell since he's changed his story a few times. 

So in what is highly suspicious behavior Perez sends a message on Twitter for readers of his blog to call the police. He retaliates by verbally attacking Will.I.Am - not the manager. He uses several choice "F" words including the one universally accepted as an anti-gay slur. Then he proceeds to make a video to talk about it. He claims he was "intimidated". That's code word for "he's a Black dude and they're downright dangerous". Perez is like 6' while Will.I.Am is like 5'5". Now if that isn't *itch behavior I don't know what is!

I read this and I rolled my eyes, honestly because we have so many more important things going on, but this hasn't died down yet. Perez is using this to draw further attention to himself and his blog. Again, I thought I was going to ignore this as the actions of stupid, immature person, but now I'm a little peeved because another blogger posted a link on Twitter today's Dish Rag column in the LA Times AND I watched the video:

Said Hilton in his video: "I made the split-second decision -- that I was gonna say what I thought was the worst possible thing that thug would ever want to hear" -- which was a handful of assorted F-bombs.  {No I'm not linking to it}

Oh so calling a Black man a thug and faggot is okay, Perez....really?

Per GLAAD rep Rashad Robinson: "These are vulgar anti-gay slurs that feed a climate of hatred and intolerance toward our community. For someone in our own community to use it to attack another person by saying that it is, quote, ‘The worst possible thing that thug would ever want to hear,’ is incredibly dangerous. It legitimizes use of a slur that is often linked to violence against our community. And it sends a message that it is OK to attempt to dehumanize people by exploiting anti-gay attitudes.”

The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation has asked Perez Hilton to apologize for slurs he hurled at Will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas. 

I'm taking big breaths here....they've ASKED? Um Perez...could you pretty please with sugar on top not be such an hypocritical *sshole because you're drawing too much attention to our hypocrisy and we can't have that.

First of all how many Black people work for GLAAD? In positions of authority (i.e check-writing ability)? In Kat Williams voice: I'll wait.

This is the ongoing argument and unresolved problem with the Gay Rights Industrial Complex. It's run by a bunch of cis-gender white men who will be the first to cry discrimination when it suits them but engage in their own version of racist/sexist/gender identification terrorism and erasure from the table when it suits them. Of course there are white women in charge as well so they don't get off the hook either, but I'm focusing on the majority ruling class here.

Why only ASK? How about DEMAND?!!!

See I remember not too long ago when a Black man (I know some of you are surprised I'm taking up the cause of one as I'm critical of so many...whatever) on a certain tv show was vilified in the press for MONTHS and subsequently FIRED on the mere ACCUSATION of using the word Faggot.

That would be one Isaiah Washington. 

Can I just say how much the show blows and the Dr. Burke character was great but the actor got sold down the river for not showing enough deference to a white man. I still don't know how an argument with one actor turned into a anti-gay railroad job involving another actor who wasn't even involved (and has now taken his overinflated ego elsewhere). Except that I think he and a certain blond actress (who decided to stay on the show) used the conflict to their advantage for more money and increased air time. Don't tell me Hollywood isn't cutthroat!! 

Perez Hilton was all over this with multiple postings about Washington and saying some particularly nasty things. Have I also mentioned that Perez used to work for GLAAD? Well...I digress. My point is the GRIC needs to come and police their wayward enfant terrible with a quickness! They need to devote air time and hand-wringing over one of their own being JUST AS DISCRIMINATORY (EVEN MORESO) as they've accused others, including Washington of being.

Otherwise I don't want to hear about how unfair it is that "we're" not supporting ENDA, DOMA and other discrimination. Don't ask me for money or to participate in your campaigns either. As an African-American woman I have enough crap to deal with yet I still spend time and energy devoting myself to injustices that occur everywhere. 

Right now this is looking like good old fashioned white racism on Perez's part. He doesn't get to run to the Discrimination Safety Zone by using his orientation or ethnicity when it suits him while actively engaging in it against others. The silence from the GRIC will only confirm they are in agreement with hating on Black people.

You are either in support of justice across the board or you are full of it!

**Update a little birdy on Twitter told me that somebody read my little post...and Perez has "officially" apologized.** Imagine that! Now it's time to start reigning in all the wayward Blacks that are dragging down the perception of the entire group with their foolishness.