Saturday, July 11, 2009

When A White Guy With Racist Tendencies Recognizes DBR Behavior It Must Be Bad!

What! you may be thinking. You may still be in denial or grieving your moment after getting out of the This Is What the Black Community Used to Be But Is No More Matrix. Whether you're contemplating taking the pill, want to be put back in or are ready to take on some agents you cannot afford to stick your fingers in your ears anymore. Well, you are of course free to do as you like, but if you want a FULL LIFE with ALL OF ITS PROMISE there are certain steps you must take.
Watch the tape:
What do I get from this scene? That anyone is capable of anything at any time. Also black women have to be more discerning in determining who displays DBR behavior. It could be your best friend, your mother or even yourself if you don't check some underlying attitudes that may be present. So many are so caught up in maintaining the illusion they will fight you. 

The most likely to display DBR behavior are still African-American males. Remember one of the Dunbar Village rapists/attempted murderers was a 14 year old! The recently plea-bargained Chris Brown is 19. You have no way of knowing when the damage sets in and takes over. It's not going to be limited to a man age 25 or over. His social status does not insulate him. His education does not insulate him. If he has friends who are DBRs there's no telling when he'll breathe in their toxins and become one himself. Yes I was thinking of Invasion of Body Snatchers as I wrote that. Pop culture is a great tool for getting a message out. Those people were taken over. DBRs choose it.

You must leave. 
No giving second chances after you've been beat up.
You must leave. 
If they really loved you they wouldn't put you down or be jealous.
You must leave. 
They blame you for making bad choices but called you uppity for having standards. 

There's a entire process that must be undertaken but the first step (as with the Matrix) is GETTING OUT. Which brings me to my point. I was doing some research for another post and came across this blog, Guy: White Making Sense on Race. Now I have spotted obvious racist tendencies in some of his comments but even a broken clock is correct twice! So dismiss if you will but here's what I read:
Sure not all the black men are thugs. But the wealthy and upper middle class blacks go for white women. So what are black women left with? Just a small number of middle class blacks who aren’t wealthy enough to get a white woman and also aren’t felons. That explains why 70% of them (wisely) choose to stay single.  Stay Single, Sista! post.
Ok so there's a few caveats he's missed. He's making class distinctions but most black men (would) go for white women, especially the ones who tie their self-esteem to proximity to white skin. His comment was interesting in that he's confirming if you are tied to only dating a black man and if the ones you have access to are of little value STAY AWAY FROM THEM. What would be great would be encouraging black women to date based on the character traits of a man and to date a large variety. If you won't do that though, then he is correct, stay single! 

His comment section is very enlightening as he unloads these little gems (I respond in bright blue):
I also cited the fact that there isn’t a single famous black man who’s married to a woman who looks typically African. Either their wives and girlfriends are white or they call themselves black (for affirmative action) ha but in reality clearly look like they have more white genes than black.  Actually Denzel & Samuel are, but they're old school. We also don't know the quality of their marriages, but you get the point!

If they can’t marry a white woman for some reason (can’t get her, or can’t marry a white woman because it would harm their career, as is the case with Obama) ha, then they marry a black woman who has a lot of white blood, lighter skin and at least somewhat European features.
The law of supply and demand dictates than when supply drops and demand remains stable, the price of the commodity’s nice to have the option so that there are enough women for all the men and avoid a disequilibrium that results in one side being much more “valuable” than the other.

Black women are faced with that very disequilibrium. There’s much more demand for black men than there’s supply, and black men know it. Anyone who knows the law of supply and demand realizes that it means that black men can abuse black women. This abuse need not necessarily be in the form of beatings – it could be abandoning the mother of your child, sleeping with women for whom you are unwilling to do anything and from whom you will steal.

Black women are facing a penis shortage, for a lack of better term. They can’t “trap their man” and force him to “buy the cow” because they know that another woman will be willing to take him just for the sex, or just to have a child with someone.

Black men, thus, need not be fathers, husbands or even boyfriends. This naturally upsets women who want a husband and a father for their children. Only if the woman is exclusively focused on being with a black male.
So there you have it from the horse's mouth. A male who understands male behavior. A white male who has observed obvious dysfunction by black men and knows black women who choose poorly will continue to get the short end of the stick. He's also commented on how white women are looked at with disdain when they hook up with these DBRs by other whites. As problematic as his attitudes of inferiority of black intelligence are he has certainly nailed the attitudes of inferiority some display in their behavior. Does anyone still want to pretend this isn't a problem?! It can be easily solved as black women expand their options and choose LIFE.

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Khadija said...


Girl, you're on a roll here. {raised fist salute} I can see that your attempted dialogue with the DBRs who were publicly dissecting Serena Williams' anatomy was as eye-opening to you as the conversation I had was for me a couple of years ago at a "Black love/Black unity" blog.

Yes, EVERYBODY ELSE can see the patterns with AA behavior. Everybody can see this except some of us, who are still trapped in the Matrix of ideology and social indoctrination.

Peace, blessings and solidarity.

Faith at Acts of Faith Blog said...

Khadija: YES! YES! YES! Despite my reading the blogs that have been trying to get black women to open their minds to a different way of seeing themselves the transition was not complete.

I agreed on an intellectual level and because I'm not necessarily mired in it directly (I wasn't dating a DBR) I felt somewhat disconnected. I still thought it was the "other black people" or "those blacks over there" AND not with an air of superiority from social class per se but a sense of relief that I was "different".

I felt that I was finally validated on some level that I could still be black but I didn't have to be like them. NOW I realize it's - I don't know 90% DBRs? It hit my heart!! There's a Bible verse about the truth being a double-edged sword.

I have no idea because so few of us are speaking out but I figure if enough of us put out a beacon we'll all eventually find each other. On the other hand I think it may be best to keep numerous groups in small numbers for survival. That is if we still have time.

So I've grieved and I'm done. Now I must give the battle cry and get out my sword.

Anonymous said...

What is "DBR?"

Faith at Acts of Faith Blog said...

DBR stands for Damaged Beyond Recognition.

bwdb said...

Ooooh...Guy White & readers really put the DBR's on 'Frontstreet' eh?

*I am embarrassed for them*

lisa99 said...

The thing that does always bother me about these topics though is that even though DBR-ism among BM is being called out, the BWs are always painted as being SOL. Now, I know that we BW as individuals are certainly NOT and that we certainly can exercise our right to date anyone in the global village regardless of color, I can't get down too much with these dudes because they don't even acknowledge the possibility that the "left behind" BW can date non-black men.

They recognize that black men have choices (even if they exercise them poorly), that AW have choices, that WW have choices and that WM have choices, but that BW do not... or that the choices of all men rarely include BW.

Yes, the statistics for BW marriage blow chunks. But to say that's indicative of overall BW desirabiity isn't exactly the case... there's a lot more going on that cannot totally be explained by statistics.

Faith at Acts of Faith Blog said...

CW: Yeah. No commenting. Go back to your husband!!

lisa99: How so? I don't see women being painted as paragons of virtue and perfection. Honestly though you can leave that criticism to the DBRs and their deniers because they are ALWAYS ON TIME FOR THE BASHING. No we're examining the root causes of these problems. These men are causing far more harm and present the physical threats. It's the disintegrated families that are the source and NO ONE is addressing it. Black girls are being raped and told their entire worth is in uplifting black males and having babies and being a Cinder Girl. When we reach the minds of these girls they'll be able to make better choices and get out. The good men can take care of all these wayward children as Khadija suggested on her blog. Problem solved.

lisa99 said...


No, what I'm saying is that writers like Guy White and Steve Sailer, even although they recognize DBRism in black men, don't necessarily do BW many favors by implying that they have little choice but to remain single.

The idea that BW have options as well (to date out) is never presented. The assumption is always that BW are simply screwed and will be victims of DBR BM behavior by being forced to stay single.

The idea that black women could date non-black men wasn't even mentioned as a possibility, while it was mentioned as an option for nearly every other group of men and women.

Faith at Acts of Faith Blog said...

lisa99: That's not the purpose of that guy's blog. He was also referencing AA black women's reluctance to date anyone but an AA black man. His assessments were accurate. I did however add all of that in the post. Perhaps you missed it.

LorMarie said...

"The idea that BW have options as well (to date out) is never presented. The assumption is always that BW are simply screwed and will be victims of DBR BM behavior by being forced to stay single."--Lisa99

Guy White is a blogger popular among white nationalists, separatists, etc. I doubt someone of his mindset would suggest that black women start dating nonblack men.

What struck me about the comments was the black woman (Mary I think) who desperately tried to prove him wrong when deep down inside, she knows he's right.

bwdb said...

@LorMarie & others

Yes...I picked up on that too...She was so busy trying to "disprove" something that has a strong element of truth to it...Mary would have done better admitting to that truth and then presenting her argument about the "Jack n Jill" members...Lame as it is...LOL!

Faith at Acts of Faith Blog said...

All: I know I set up this post and to follow protocol I linked to this blogger. I am in no way trying to endorse his agenda or present him as an ally. This is more like when you're drawing a battle plan and doing a layout of the terrain. I am not trying to engage him. A scorpion still stings. A snake still has venom. Let's just keep that in mind. It was his bluntness that caught my attention. I do NOT see him as an advocate for black women and girls.

Welcome said...

What's always a trip to me is how bp get pissed off when Cosby, Obama, movies like Color Purple, book, person etc. air our dirty laundry. Bp start saying we shouldn't be airing our dirty laundry as if others don't know it. Most of the people in this country black white etc. as well as in the world know our dirty laundry.

Faith at Acts of Faith Blog said...

Cool_splash1: Yes others do notice. I had an anonymous commenter who basically confirmed that on one of my other threads.

bwdb said...

Exactly! The dirty laundry is flapping around like sheets with mud on them...

Christian H. said...

I was just surfing around after reading about Buchanan and his centrist theories.

It seems like a place I may hang out. I can tell you now that I am a very outspoken black male who is tired of the CLOWNS running around like BUMS complaining someone's holding them down so don't mid if I go on rants about my being ALONE in most offices I work at.

It's DOWNRIGHT EMBARRASSING LIVING IN NYC and I'm trying to keep the faith about women but how important is sex or intimacy with A BUM WHO WILL NEVER MAKE MORE THAN $15\hr.

I suffer with 95% white males though their bitch asses know that "insensitive" comments crap will get their ass whipped.

Hell, even those of us who made it in sports or entertainment are JUST BUMS IN DISGUISE.

And then, these so-called hip hop IDIOTS CAN'T EVEN DANCE.

I have managed to work at Microsoft, Accenture, Schering-Plough and several other places where THEY say we can't get in.

My next stop is Hollywood, where I will do everything I can to make real movies about Americans who happen to be black.

I can say I disagree with the term DBR but only because these "MEN" made their own choices to be bums and low-lifes.

Keep up the good work.