Male loyalty is sketchy at best. They are first loyal to themselves, then to other men, then to the woman they sleep with. (I'm adding the possibility of looking out for a daughter.) If you’re not in one of those categories, in all likelihood, you fall far down in the hierarchy. Further, you have to keep in mind that even if he’s not sleeping with you, most men are at least considering the possibility that you might be a good back-up.
The question I'd be asking is: You have to have the standards, but how do you know what those standards are? How do Black women in particular clear their minds of the indoctrination tactics fed to BW that keep them tethered in the barn and get free of them?