For Those Women Wondering How They'll Divest & Where They'll Go

It's nice to see the media attention being given to Dr. Roxanne Shante this week. To bring you up to speed she was one of the earliest female MCs in hip-hop. She recorded Roxanne's Revenge which was a reply to UTFO's song Roxanne Roxanne. For a more recent comparison think of TLC's recording of No Scrubs. Either way it's been a long time! I've been meaning to write a post about the dearth of women in hip-hop but I find it so difficult trying to lift it up as a genre as a whole.

I had to double-check my Deploying A Little Negro Spirit music posts and sure enough I hadn't touched it with a ten foot pole. We won't be discussing the misogyny in rap/hip-hop because it's a rather moot point I think. The hateful attitude some black men have toward black women is obvious to anyone who wants to acknowledge it. So "music" being used to reflect that is just one of the ways they've been allowed to get away with it.

I had forgotten about Dr. Shante's story of triumph and she deserves the accolades. She signed a record deal and got swindled out of money. She was an unwed teenage mother living in a housing project in NYC. She could have faded into obscurity and continued down that path so many of us warn other women about. She obviously had a vision for herself despite her less than ideal circumstances. She didn't give up on herself or resign herself to a life of constant struggle. Why? She had a clause put in her contract that required her label to pay for her education for life. Of course the label tried to renege on the deal but she persisted. She went to college and continued to grad school eventually earning a Ph.D in psychology. She worked hard, studied hard and moved on. She's now a married mother of two with an education no one can ever take away.

We've discussed getting out of the Matrix and the death of the "black community" as a once-useful entity that doesn't sustain women. We should be free agents able to live our lives on our own terms. I don't think discussing the decay resonates with enough of us and things are far worse than many think. It can be difficult to see it when you're in the middle of it - or far removed from it. There's also a question about how challenging it may be for those who need to leave to separate themselves emotionally and physically if there are a lack of resources or children involved. Perhaps it needs to be stated that everyone who should get out won't. This is a continuing message for those who are willing and able.

Education can be one of the ways out. The Obama administration has a program for mothers to return to school or to start attending period. If you think about it that record label's promise to pay is akin to the financial aid awards that are available. There's a financial aid database you can apply through. Even for those that may have to bring themselves up to speed comprehension-wise or find a less expensive school by choosing a community college. Plus those schools just got extra funding since the 4-year universities tend to be better endowed financially.

The statistics already bear out that black women are finishing college at a much higher rate than black men. If you're living in an unsafe neighborhood or surrounded by people who think of failure as the norm it's best to leave as quickly and as safely as you can. Planning your move to a safer area may require you not sharing this information with anyone who'd seek to hold you back. You can go to the library and seek assistance with doing a search. Why not choose a school in a different city or move to a better section of town? With the state of the economy parents with physical custody of their children may be looking to split costs of living expenses. Of course screening is necessary but this is one way for people to pool their resources while taking a course of action.

It has to be better than living around people like the mother of one of the Dunbar Village suspects who says things like:

“So, if that’s the case they say my son raped somebody, how is that when, I got raped when I was little I told him about it and he was going crazy. They said I couldn’t have no kids I thank God I had 13 kids…

“They’re trying to give these kids, 50 to life, for something they probably ain’t gonna live to do.

“They should put them in a community education where they can learn that. You know like a program or something. Locking these kids up ain’t gonna solve nothing. You know."

You can choose LIFE versus DEATH. It's really that simple. This is also the time for all of us to evaluate where we stand in our lives. Obama is reappointing Bernanke to the Federal Reserve. There's quite a few finance experts who warn the economy is going to get worse - which is the opposite of the Bernanke's feel-good message. Unless you're in the upper wealth percentile or a banker I'd rather be prepared than lulled into a false sense of security. For all of our obstacles, hardships and reasons why we can't do something, perhaps this is the time to do a complete about-face. Since so many claim a special relationship with their version of God don't you think this would be the perfect time to put that faith in action?

The Black Community. What Black Community?

As some of you know I and another writer are guest blogging at What About Our Daughters. As the blog host of this blog I have a much smaller but loyal group of readers which I thank you. Moderating another blog requires a different skill set and I am literally flying by the seat of my pants. I quickly learned that I had to let go of "Faith's Blogging Rules of Order" or turn off the comment feature entirely. I cross-posted my Monday conversation on single motherhood, the attitudes of black men towards black women (which is primarily about African-Americans) and what behaviors are condoned in the "black community". I put it in quotes because many of us are operating within a dichotomy. 

I think because I presented a cross-section of pathologies at once it was the equivalent of throwing a molotov cocktail into a room. It wasn't to destroy people but to destroy the dysfunctional mindset that's killing us. Even as many of my readers read that blog, they also have their own. We've been discussing some of these specific issues for quite some time. In a way many of us are at a different points on our individual journeys but we've crossed similar terrain. So for me it was a lightbulb moment - which is why I wrote about it. I got some push-back here in my comment section but the majority are like-minded enough that we could discuss the sub-pathologies within the core ones. 

At WAOD that wasn't necessarily the case. It definitely got people talking and that's a good thing. It took me months to come to my current level of comprehension. For others it may never come. Some just wanted to be obstructionists for sport and are LUCKY for the privilege of being allowed at that forum.

• What is the black community and what are its problems? 
  
• What is being done to address them from a policy or legislative perspective and what of the choices of individuals? 

Some think it is as simple as being immersed in a multi-cultural setting where different mentalities flourish versus an all-black one. I don't necessarily subscribe to the theory that being in an all-black setting in and of itself is the issue but it does help a mentality remain stagnant if your setting is full of people with pathologies. On the other hand you can be with a core group of people who don't subscribe to harmful pathologies, still operate in a multi-cultural setting at times but prefer to spend as much time within their core group. Just like the majority of other groups prefer to remain within theirs. Now the question becomes one of determining whether your group is displaying behaviors that are in alignment with the majority of a productive society or not? As a non-white person in a society dominated by whites how are you helping to elevate the status and power dynamics within your group? You had better believe if there isn't a collective plan for advancement your group is moving backwards - fast. Finally we must ask ourselves how are we defining ourselves? Is it by gender, religion, orientation, gender expression, race, ethnicity, financial resources or other intangibles?

Those blacks that define the black community strictly by race are doing everyone a disservice. It's regressive. This isn't the 1950's. Some look at it as badge that must be worn at all times. For one reason the ones that hold onto that viewpoint are often engaging in a lot of dysfunctional behavior that is tearing it down from the inside. It is they who place these unnatural burdens on other blacks to "prove" themselves with superficial displays of loyalty. Like claiming speaking correct English is "white". How stupid is that?! They also usually enforce a code of skin shade racism against other blacks. It's mostly men doing it to dark-skinned women. On some base level they consider themselves inferior and are trying to pump themselves up constantly. 

Black women are still being taught they are part of this "community" to hold together. It gives them nothing in return though. They are being used but see it as a sign of honor. The roles of men and women have been switched with the women doing everything. Those buying into this superwoman-not-needing-anything mindset are paying a heavy price. They are dying at an alarming rate and they are raising children alone. The majority of these women are not married or haven't married well. No matter what anyone else says that is not normal. There's also a group that clings to a religion totem where they also don't examine what they believe or why. Some of those people at times focus on holding people whose lifestyles don't match theirs as being wrong. It's utter hypocrisy. Far too many blacks are only focused on white racism and not in seeking justice across the board. They only want to focus on discrimination from whites and not take responsibility for what they do to others. I also think there are any number of blacks that could be accepted as an "honorary" white person with all of the benefits they perceive would be bestowed upon them would sell out every black person they could. 

Others want to rip away the badge and be immersed with other cultures. That could work if people weren't already wholly compromised about their identity. Many of us don't know our specific ethnic and heritage legacies. I think it is something that every black person who cannot readily trace it should address - pronto! It would resolve so much of the unknown. I imagine it's a similar feeling those who've been adopted feel. They want to know where they come from. That may or may not be possible but pretending it doesn't matter has been detrimental. People hold onto to false totems of "blackness" because of this. The contributions of generations of African-Americans (AAs) in this country proves you don't have to know the answers to these questions to succeed in influencing the course of this country. Yet things were often more cut and dry then. White people upholding supremacist practices did not readily distinguish the different intra-black ethnicities and cultural differences. They also didn't allow for mass immigration of non-American blacks until after we got Civil Rights passed. So all of these things need to be acknowledged and respected.

A much smaller group is trying to work in concert with each other or just keep themselves and those in their immediate circles intact. It is what the black community used to be. Within that I'd say there's another sub-group of black women (probably predominantly AA) who are advocating that regardless we need to be thinking as individuals and do what's best for ourselves for a change. We've slaughtered enough sacred cows at the altar of the black community and have removed ourselves off the auction block. We want out period. We want to take our rightful place on the world stage. I think there's a distinction to be made about the multi-cultural aspects of this. One I think may still be focused on being in a group of dissimilar people solely for that purpose. One has a power dynamic minefield to negotiate that has NOT been completed on the part of blacks. I think this is focused on behavior and sussing out those who would be our allies. Where ever we go we take our heritage, DNA and culture with us so we can mate with whomever we prefer. We want what best works for us. Now some people get stuck on the interracial aspects of this and claim we're advocating "chasing after white men". No one is talking about abandoning our blackness. 

That is what the other "false" black collective listed above does every day but they aren't willing to accept that. The oppression banner is waved at every turn by organizations that depend on white patronage. They are benefitting on an individual level but cannibalizing the collective. Many still jump at the charge of any white racism directed at black males as if that is the greatest offense the world has ever seen. Yet they are ignoring all the internal problems. The crime stats prove that most black men in this country are being killed by other black men. So why isn't that part of some major campaign? Black women are treated worse than dogs as a gender collective. I don't need to revisit all of the reasons here but I was very clear in my Monday post what is going on and why. Some don't want to agree on any of the points raised. That doesn't make it any less true. Women and children have been abandoned by black men (mostly AA). That's what is destroying the black community. Different choices other than the ones currently being made must be implemented. That's the answer. I can't say it will make huge dent for the collective but hopefully a few more people can take the red pill and get out of the Matrix.

*******

I've culled some of the comments from WAOD and would like to get more feedback:

I believe there are two different definitions of ‘Black community’ at work among black people (and that is if the idea of black community still remains an organizing principle for black folks because I do sometimes believe that a significant portion just live life).

The idea of ‘black community’ that holds sway for most of black people is the baseline definition, which is, ‘We as blacks continue to be born and thus continue to exist in the US etc.’ This definition or working principle requires no heightened concern about what happens after the physical existence (particularly for the men I should add).

Then there are those who feel that black community is about ‘thriving’ people, and recognize the need for purposeful organizing of resources and deliberate strategy (not just ‘topping up the black numbers’) because of a recognition that society itself is weighed against the very survival of black folks. This recognition is the key point of demarcation between the two groups, I believe, because it animates the second group towards deliberate living in a way to ensures survival and higher life quality in a hostile environment, as would not be the case if they believed for instance that ‘we have overcome’, ‘the government owes me’ etc etc.

There are also those trying to pull together these two diametrically opposed schools of thought (if you can call it that) on black community, and the compromises continue to come in form of rationalization for the first group and the changing of standards to accommodate their way of life.

So should the compromise be, in a manner of speaking, towards pulling the first group upwards or ratcheting the second downwards? Is it even possible to bring to two together, are they not fundamentally opposed?

When you apply the liberals lens to the activities of the first group, there isnt really anything wrong with single parenthood for an instance, but then (and this goes back to the key demarcating point), black people who are aware of their situation and the hostile forces arrayed against the very existence of black life, do not apply a liberal lens and liberal ideals for the life of black people.  ~~Halima

********

The other Black community is headed and controlled by the CRIC (groups like NAACP), the BEE (the so-called black elites that hate most black people), and the EIC (entertainment that degrades, rap, BET, etc). They control our institutions, all propaganda, they control our national dialog, the control the rules of almost every debate about important social issues that affect MY Black community. The silence MY Black community with authoritarianism and the myth of Black unity. 

The “Two Black Americas” is always thought of in terms of class and income, but not in terms of values. No, a Chris Rock joke does not count because I know poor people who have the same value system I have in most areas.

When people would mention divestment from THE Black community in the comments section, my instant response was, wait a minute. There doesn’t need to be a withdrawal or retreat, there needs to be a cultural coup. MY Black community needs to take control of the major Black institutions and push an agenda that actually reverses the decline. ~~ Gina

*******

Take this study for instance:

http://www.urban.org/publications/310300.html

“There were significant associations between a mother’s education, race/ethnicity, marital status, poverty status, and age and her attitudes toward non marital childbearing. Better-educated mothers were significantly more likely to hold negative attitudes toward nonmarital childbearing than were those with limited schooling, and white and Hispanic mothers were less supportive of non-marital childbearing than were African Americans (table 1).”

So even among welfare recipients receiving the same amount of aid, the BW STILL were more supportive of non-marital childbearing than WW and HW.

SMH

This dysfunctionality has been normalized.

It’s the THINKING folks. That’s the problem. The mindset. ~~Felicia

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Men who have not had their natural disposition blunted to lead, protect, and provide don’t cop out or poop out over setbacks, competition, trials and tribulations, or warfare. Real men, who have not had their natural disposition blunted, will naturally STAND UP AND FIGHT for ANY resources or support. They will not sit back, and let others aggress their women and children.

The real deal is that men who walk away from their children blaming the mother (even if the woman is crazy) are not functioning in their natural state. Real men are territorial, and wouldn’t even leave the woman with the child: again he’d stay with her or remarry but his children would ALWAYS be with HIM. This comes from WITHIN –and only these men or other men who haven’t had their natural disposition blunted can HEAL this. 

HEALING THIS will not come about by demoralizing, denigrating, hating, shaming, blaming, neglecting, abandoning, and talking bad about in the company of the world black women and children.

What we NOW see in the black community IS MAN’S INHUMANITY—LITERALLY SPEAKING—TO WOMAN AND HER CHILDREN. ~~ Miriam

What Was And What Will Be: Where Do We Go From Here?

Last week I asked if Blacks were prepared to step it up a notch or be replaced. So much of our thinking has to do with looking back at events from the past. From freedom post-enslavement period through Civil Rights to now, the rules of engagement have changed. We are now in an era where far too many are resting, satisfied with themselves while enjoying the efforts of the ones that came before us. That's okay for a brief moment but it was never meant to become the norm. There's far more work yet to be done and things that need to be accomplished for some to start skipping along the path. There are those sharing that road who want to bump us off of it as well as others who want more space for themselves. 

True equality has not been achieved and cannot be assured will be available to a majority. In the fight against white male patriarchy lies the fight amongst ourselves over gender, orientation, religious freedom  - really anything and everything. The key here is to continue working towards goals and constantly reassessing our status. Other groups of people do this all the time, yet African-Americans seem to resist the idea of introspection. There are arguments about "not airing dirty laundry" or not liking the "tone of what was said"or "who said what when" that is damaging to the collective such that it is. 

It's the thinking that having a Black President means racism is done that is most damaging as of late. I've had conversations with Blacks who think we've "overcome", tying this to MLK where they're willing to trust whatever the President does with little scrutiny. I've also had to FIRMLY tell some non-Blacks that racism is alive and kicking. One action by a group of people (i.e the Nov election) does NOT wipe the slate clean or mean there's been a significant change. It just means the circumstances were ideal at a particular time for a particular person. 

In the United States African-Americans are not the largest "minority" group anymore. Still the amount of work and contributions made by previous individuals helped advance the collective. Those efforts also paved the way for other groups to advance and should be recognized. I hope somewhere people are taking notes because the "students" are now more prepared than the "teacher". They were led by example with such efforts as the Civil Rights movement and because they were a more cohesive bunch the observers have positioned themselves well.

What's going on now is an all-out effort to delegitimize the contributions of African-Americans by those who know better. Coupled with a certain laziness and misdirection on the part of Black leadership and many have forgotten who they are. Individual pursuit takes precedence over protecting the interests of the majority. That's why there's no cohesiveness. Once integration was available and Blacks didn't have to live amongst each other many decided to leave and took an entire infrastructure with them. Yet truth be told we can't be certain there was a group of like-minded individuals who chose to be together or a forced mingling of people based on external categories. Many were only interested in maintaining a certain status quo that benefitted them if they could be the exception.

Some would remove the "Black" from the Black Experience. There's a lot of (learned?) confusion about who is African-American. We all have class distinctions and personal viewpoints that inform our behavior. There's an ongoing argument about whether the person growing up in a majority Black environment determines ALL aspects of their outlook. I lived in all-Black neighborhood. It wasn't really by choice. The city I grew up in practiced blatant housing discrimination to keep separation of races intact. There were a few who managed to move into white neighborhoods. Race alone doesn't make it automatically better though. 

I sought a variety of activities and a variety of people in my social circle. I was determined to be my own person, but I wasn't ashamed of who I was. I found that far too many wanted to limit their interactions and deny their historical legacies in an effort to be like everyone else. Since when is "diversity" from a white hegemony a bad thing? 

It seems today there are far too many amongst us who are ashamed. Otherwise why do they mock others and engage in the lowest common denominator behavior? They may discuss freedom of choice in identifying their heritage but it's predicated on denying their "Blackness". There seems to be a discomfort and so many want to shrug it off as if it were a coat being worn in a warm climate. 

I'm going to use quotes from some who've been commenting as to what some of the core issues are:

From Khadija:

Self-determination; COUPLED & INTERTWINED WITH(b) self-esteem BASED UPON devaluing and distancing oneself from any "Black" identity (i.e., anti-Black racism). In short, modern anti-Black racism is cloaked in the language of choice and self-determination. And most of us are too confused to understand this.

From CDWriteMe:

Every person of color (even the sellouts) know that white don't look at "half-whites" as white. They may be nicer to them, but they still consider them "the other".

Regarding white people, predictable. They have tried every trick in the book, historically, to maintain domination. This is no different.

And, they will win if we don't stop them. Alot of whites in America could care less if we were all hung or put in jail. In this political climate, however, they have to come at us more subtly.

Take away recording of races you take away the statistics. Take away the statistics, you take away the evidence. Take away the evidence, you have nothing to fight the ever-predictable white denial with. Let the white denial win out and there is no compulsion for civil rights enforcement.

White people may be alot of things, but, they're not dumb. We need to educate each other and the biracials. We need to stay alert.

Do I have to state the obvious? Race is not racism. All Blacks aren't African-American, but AAs are Black. White Africans who emigrate to the United States can NEVER be AA. They can never be BLACK. The day the entire white collective allows for all Blacks with any white ancestry to be considered WHITE then we can talk. It would be best for all those concerned to be able to draw a line in the sand, pick a side and stop straddling the fence. When it's no longer convenient then we find out who our true allies are.

So Let's Talk About This Supposed Mass Dysfunction of Black Women

Some Black women of course are simply "perfect". Then there's the rest of us!

Since I've been discussing pathologies an adjacent conversation about appropriate responses must be made as well. There's been some rather serious conversations about recognizing pathologies in others and removing oneself from those that choose to engage in destructive behavior that will negatively impact certain Black women at a few blogs. 

Divestment has been avidly endorsed but some people haven't defined what divestment means for themselves - or they've made sweeping and inaccurate assumptions. Nor have they read thoroughly the divestment strategies and reasoning for it presented at other blogs. Yet they rally against it. Basically if you see a tsunami headed your way a discussion about the speed at which the water will overtake you is moot. So is telling someone they can swim when you've got a helicopter ready to whisk you away - that's rather disingenuous wouldn't you agree? 

It seems even the discussion of the reasons why BW should divest from certain areas (where mindsets that encourage depravity occur) some have twisted this into the tired and inaccurate argument that it's somehow bashing all BM. Whatever! If it doesn't apply to you there's nothing to complain about.

There is also another obfuscation tactic by focusing on emotionally damaged BW in an effort at blaming and shaming without discussing how they got damaged to begin with.

• Mental illness - That requires medical attention.
  
• Skin shade racism - aka "Paper Bag Tests" and all the goes with it. The preoccupation with whiter-skinned BW in this country as somehow being better, prettier, more worthy has gone far too long and needs to be addressed. Remember those conversations about Michelle Obama being "dark-skinned" when honestly on a spectrum of skin tone she is medium but that's besides the point? The racism that Black people engage against other Blacks is just as harmful as that of whites.
  
• Hair texture - See above. Let's kill the term "good hair" once and for all. Let's embrace the full spectrum of the beauty of ALL BW. 

The message of indoctrination that BW are responsible for the entire world (other Blacks) and thinking about their own needs is selfish is one of the key misnomers that also needs to be dismantled. Not to mention the singular focus of a majority of BW on finding BM to mate with. That 70%+ unmarried statistic wasn't a joke. Neither was the non-married but bearing children rate. The fact that it's double in less than one entire generation should be cause of concern for everyone! If so many women feel ugly, unlovable and desperate and have been living under siege in deteriorating neighborhoods how can they (we) make sound choices? 

Just for those that want to pin it solely at the feet of BW you should be reminded: 

• BW don't rove in packs and run trains (gang rape) men
  
• BW don't stand on the street and make it impossible for any male above the age of 10 to be outside in peace
  
• BW don't physically overpower men
  
• BW don't grab the butts of BM when they're outside
  
• BW didn't initiate the stop snitching rule

Some women have foolishly become ride or die where they envision themselves to be Bonnie to the anti-hero (criminal) Clyde. It's why certain laws were modified that made these women held equally responsible for the crimes of their men.

BW are somehow expected to hold a community together by its threads. Where have all the BM gone? They left to follow their bliss! The very real abandonment didn't just happen overnight. The majority of the productive/successful BM have gone for quite some time though. You see it in who they choose to partner with and where they live. Nobody's telling them to stay and fight or work with (and live with) those who may be more likely to commit a crime than graduate from college. 

I was watching the Black List Vol 2 and RZA was on. Even he talked about divestment with his line, "Nobody wants to live in the hood." In fact during that interview he specifically talks about moving away from the crime, grime and chaos and how he now lives in the country surrounded by land. He specifically mentioned raising children in peace and quiet. So why can't all BW have the same thing without being a famous (male) musician? Why do so many of us take on the responsibility of rescuing other people when we are in fact drowning ourselves?

The argument for divestment and the point of it ultimately is about the rights of the individual to live a quality life versus the rights of some in the underclass who want to behave badly. If a certain underbelly of society wants to exist amidst chaos you can't stop them. You can try to help for sure but that doesn't mean you should martyr yourself and your children. Even the film I featured American Violet while very poignant, there is a real life woman who was railroaded. 

She lived in one of the residential cesspools. She may not have been brought down directly by the other residents of her housing project but there was an established history of criminality that had been long accepted. The "good" people thinking they could duck for cover and try to stay above the fray didn't protect her from adverse effects. Though there was very real racism and greed involved with those sweeping drug charges, a certain class of people who engage in certain behaviors directly or those that tolerate it have been targeted. 

If Blacks could survive slavery you can move out of these areas and set boundaries about not allowing that element to follow you if you really want to. It may not be easy but it is certainly possible. Black women have to realize their survival depends on not being in dysfunctional environments or surrounded by dangerous people.