Regarding Tyson: Confessions On National TV Is Not A Substitute For Therapy

I thought the Mike Tyson interview on Oprah earlier this week was a HAM. It's great for her and the ratings but ultimately how does this actually benefit any of us? I wasn't sure there'd be any benefit to watching it as I didn't need that episode to tell me Tyson has serious problems. Since she had him back on yesterday for Fridays Live I thought a discussion was warranted.

Here are some of my thoughts in no particular order:

• He may be more self-aware but he's still a menace.
• His limited education (and perhaps capacity for learning) is a huge impediment.
• We can see yet again the result of letting a fatherless male child grow up in society without guidance.
• Of course someone should have been concerned about Oprah's safety - he's made a career out of brutalizing men and is a convicted criminal (but she as a security detail).
• Forgiveness and redemption are not to be doled out like candy. They must be earned and appreciated.
• He's apologized to Evander Holyfield - again - but is he actually remorseful. Seriously?
• What amends has he attempted to make to Desiree Washington for raping her and Robin Givens for beating her?

I would not be alone in a room with that man under any circumstance. He seems rather volatile and ready to go off at any second. I still sense his rage and his insecurities just beneath the surface. Who are these women that line up to have sex with this man and have children with him? You cannot convince me money is not a huge incentive. His current wife's denial was even called out by Oprah during the first interview.

Despite his sorrow, his increasing self-awareness and his public display what has he actually learned and how has he changed? Crying relieves stress and looks really good on television. It doesn't guarantee a fundamental shift in one's core. Despite his numerous points of dysfunction he mentions he learned how to treat women from watching pimps. Pimps are criminals who exploit women. At what point did he ever ask himself why he chose to model his actions based on the dregs and predators of society? Do I even need to mention that he was obviously influenced by the rather typical rejection of certain black women by mostly African-American males for one who falls in the lighter-skinned long hair category? There's a rather distinct pattern here.

Finally, I conclude this entire interview is one that belonged on a therapist's couch not a television talk show host's. Ditto for the dad in the audience that said he could relate to the loss of his child from watching Tyson. Some may feel as if they've seen a whole new side that "explains" him better. I have to ask why it would take such an interview that scratches the surface and should be a beginning point for personal transformation for someone to figure out the man has had emotional problems? Many of us have things we must work through but don't substitute the confessional aspects of sharing your dysfunction with the entire world for the real work of intensive therapy.

Nor do we choose to take it out on others we perceive as being weaker or less likely to be protected. Did you get the part where he said he doesn't want the details of what happened to his 4 year-old daughter because he'll "blame" someone?! There was a definite implied threat behind that statement. Someone who's actually changed doesn't constantly revert back to destructive and violent patterns. So as far as I'm concerned he hasn't changed at all. Not where it really counts. Don't spread the message that African-Americans are such a damaged people. Which also brings me to another question for these men (like the dad featured) who have children out of wedlock: if you care so much why aren't you providing an intact family structure for them by marrying the mother of your children?