Follow-Up to Good Hair: Still Being Mocked & Who Went To See It?

I know somebody actually paid money to see Chris Rock's "Good Hair" MOCKumentary. The question is how did it fare? Did your curiosity take over and you simply had to go? The pre-release buzz was so great that even some black men went to see it - which of course tells me there was some serious foolishness going on.

Rock came back to Oprah's couch table Friday so they could discuss the "angry" emails she received. Well there was legitimate critique of this work by numerous writers, bloggers, etc. with the discernment to see how Rock lacks the emotional maturity to cover a subject of this magnitude with the respect it requires. She was very selective in what she chose to read on air. I know she didn't read my email to Harpo that's for sure. The criticism isn't about the subject but about airing dysfunction publicly and who is telling our stories and why.

If you notice Oprah is mocking the very women who objected and seems to be falling into the guard dog, soldier for black men role as she attacks another black woman for not blindly supporting her "man". Some have suggested that Oprah is a wholly divested from the "dead" black community mentality but if her latest actions are any indication she's not removed from "save the black man" mode. From breaking bread with the unrepentant former drug dealer (who glorifies it in his latest song with Alicia Keys) Jay-Z, to her continued support for Rock, Tyler Perry & Steve Harvey I have to wonder who she's trying to reach out to. If it's to others still thinking in terms of race above all personal self-interest then her embracing of them should bring relief to those that have long complained about her "not doing enough". Which is code for telling and expecting black women to run to the rescue of everyone (uplifting black men especially) to their detriment while offering nothing in turn.

Where is her support for projects that don't mock black women or have us in "suffering and struggling through oppression" mode? She can do whatever she likes but this one-sided view displayed of black women really bothers me. Between that limited view and perhaps catering to an audience of those that don't have a problem with these men not offering anything of value to the collective, those of us who want to see compelling yet uplifting stories are left out.

So back to the subject at hand, Regina Kimbell's lawsuit was (predictably) tossed. **I was given wrong information and can happily report the case is a go!!** As it turns out when she allowed Rock and his producers to view her documentary My Nappy Roots they weren't required to sign a non-disclosure agreement beforehand and wouldn't do so afterwards. It makes proving a copyright violation that much more difficult. This hearing will determine whether the case can proceed so let's keep our fingers crossed. This is the first step of a long road and appeals process.

Even the most savvy businessperson can get the shaft in Hollywood. Black women especially, we must be reminded time and time again to know our surroundings and the learn the rules of engagement in various social and business settings. People whose interest lie in making money are not our automatic friends and a person with a recognizable name is not our automatic ally. It would've been a different set of circumstances had they violated an agreement though as some of you may know from previous experience a contract is no guarantee of compliance or protection. Still it's better to have something.

If you're curious about her project though you can view a 15 minute clip here. Password: nappy. There's also a Facebook fan page you can sign up for. If your interest lies in exploring the spectrum of choices black women make in determining how to style their hair AND you want a true cultural/historical analysis (which is absent from Rock's trickle-down version) then go purchase this documentary instead. I'd love to see Ms. Kimbell try to get a distribution deal as the subject is now of interest to a wider audience (i.e. white people). It's time to make lemonade out of lemons. I also think Rock has got enough negative publicity (rightfully so) that less people will actually pay to see him making an a** of himself than he thinks. Those free screenings were packed for a reason.

Now back to the show commentary. When Oprah reads the email (which got a cut off a bit but I'd heard enough) from the woman who discusses how black men like to run their hands through silky hair I felt slightly dirty for listening. This poor woman is stuck in DBR-Ville, wasting her time fighting for those black men who have long left to go pursue their own interests. Predictably I bet we could surmise her life has consisted of giving too much and not getting anything in return or worse continuing to be used by some man for sex/food/shelter but not getting any of the benefits of true companionship. She may even think she wouldn't be found appealing to men of other groups.

What I found interesting was how Rock again tried to dismiss the core issue of what she was expressing by making a joke out of it. He discusses how he used to constantly have his hands in the hair of the non-black women he's dated (and cheated on his wife with as has been rumored) in a different portion of the show but he wants to try to invalidate her complaint. No, black women should not be "competing" with white women over black men. Or any other woman for that matter. Yes, other discerning women do recognize the weakness amongst many black men who seems to delight in the presence of any non-black woman regardless of her caliber. They make it so obvious! There are far too many good men out there looking for their Mrs. Right. Yes...a wife NOT a wifey. It's up to us to discern caliber over trash and how to play to win. That's so much better than what this woman is experiencing.

The other segment has a professional woman discussing how she doesn't want to be open for ridicule or rudeness. Oprah then proceeds to tell whites that seeing this MOCKumentary doesn't give them license to make assumptions about how black women style their hair but the damage has already been done. That ship has sailed. Black women's bodies are already on display and many whites still think they have a right to invade us out of curiosity. As if we're zoo specimens. Also since we've been so callously displayed as degraded sex objects by black men via hip-hop, etc. our image has already taken a huge beating.

It was also very disingenuous for Rock to make some fake moral statement about how secrets destroy people in relation to his documentary. He simply refused to discuss the influence of patriarchy and the desire for certain black men to escape their blackness by rejecting black women as mates as the root cause of this pursuit of "good" hair. It really isn't about white people. For many it's still about finding appeal amongst black men (specifically African American) which is a wasted effort as far as I'm concerned.

**By the way I want to do my own documentary about a subject matter sensitive to some black men: the myth of the giant penis. I can be chased down the street by Vienna sausages because oh my goodness that would be so funny. It's all in "good" humor, right? I'll get a panel of women to discuss how there's no real size difference amongst men of all groups. I would expect the same level of understanding and hands-off approach afforded to Rock.

Black Women Hair Angst Should Not Be Open For Public Consumption

I could actually take the "Hair" out of the title of this post and leave it as is. Black women angst should NOT be open for public consumption!! I find these conversations to be challenging, painful and difficult. They require time and great care as we sort through things. The issue is they're often full of pain and tied to other issues involving the abandonment and denigration of black women (in particular African-American black women) at the hands of black men.

So when Chris Rock appeared on Oprah yesterday to discuss his documentary, "Good Hair" I cringed. Again, it's another hijacking of stories that should be told and controlled by BLACK WOMEN but is only given "validity" by those black men who decide to cash in on them. That cashing in may be monetary compensation or notoriety. This goes hand in hand with other black women engaging in patriarchy-based sexism who agree to defer to these "experts" simply because they are MEN.

Curiosity on a subject is usually an indication you need to examine an issue further but to then make a cottage industry out of it at the expense of your "subject matter" is all about YOUR hustle. Any real assistance that emerges is a residual affect. The assumption that black men (who frequently devalue other black women in their personal and professional lives) can suddenly decide to "come to the rescue" of black women in one hand with the "answer" in the other is disturbing to me. It's not sincere. Not when pathologies and pain are laid bare in a public forum AND they're trying to make money from it.

The participation of black women is still 100% required for any such projects to be successful. I'm still annoyed that Steve Harvey, the thrice-married cheater is giving any woman advice on how to have a successful relationship - and given validity. Especially when he's being sued for stealing the concept and content from another black woman. Then we have Tyler Perry allowing a black woman writer-director to be pushed out of the For Colored Girls project in favor of....himself. I could go down a list.

As more and more black women take the pill to get out of the DBR Matrix our movements have not gone unnoticed! Now our real oppressors want to further obstruct the path to freedom by seeming to champion us. Like any sneaky saboteur they will grin in our faces while steadying the knife to stick in our backs. We must never forget the oppressors are also in competition with those of us who want to succeed. It's part race and part class warfare. Lest anyone wish to dispute this ask yourself how you'd feel if it was a white male director making a documentary about "good" hair and referring to childhood photos of Oprah as her "slave" look. All of our skin folk are NOT our kin folk!

Here's a "good" moment from yesterday's Oprah episode - but again Rock has to insert himself and his opinion as if what he thinks about Solange actually matters. He is spot on in his political commentary but has a clear animus towards educated and successful black women. I still remember the way he put down Michelle Obama during his comedy routine from last year and his poor attitude toward his wife. As if making a joke out of married life and devaluing relations between black men and women accompanied with laughter removes all the hatred.

Speaking of which - where was Malaak Compton-Rock in this conversation? Why isn't SHE on stage (ok at least in the audience)? It makes you wonder about all the rumors of their marital strife. I sense much of it stems from him and his attitudes. If he is sooo concerned about the well-being of his daughters and screams from the rafters about what he says to reaffirm their beauty why is there such an ongoing problem? Actions speak louder than words that's why. Like so many weak, insecure and often limited-educated African-American black men (regardless of their income) their short-comings are obvious to everyone but them.

**Carmen Dixon mentioned me in her latest post! Thanks CD.

The White Media Sure Loves To Promote Black Woman Angst Don't They?

If I have to read another tired article about how black women have such a hard time with:

a) Our hair

b) Our dating prospects

c) Our bodies

I WILL SCREAM!

“If your hair is relaxed, white people are relaxed,” the comedian Paul Mooney, sporting an Afro, says in the documentary “Good Hair,” which won a jury prize at the Sundance film festival and comes out in October. “If your hair is nappy, they’re not happy.”

Le sigh. There is no political related ideology in wearing our hair with or without chemical processing. It's a personal choice! This is why I am wary of having black men try to deconstruct issues that pertain specifically to black women. Or give dating advice when they themselves haven't had successful relationships. I mean I don't see any movies helmed by us about how their anatomy has been erroneously touted as a means of boosting their insecurities. It would be considered insulting, yet here we are having other people tell us what our "issues" are.

Ladies you shouldn't fall for it. Despite some of the serious issues we discuss here and across the blogosphere these discussions initiated in outlets like the New York Times don't necessarily have our best interests at heart. Considering how the majority of the staff - especially upper management is 99.99999% white and male - I have a hard time believing the our stories are of such interest. What has happened is a heightened combination of curiosity and contempt from numerous quarters since Michelle Obama became First Lady that serves as a catalyst for this.

Now one agenda is to do coverage that serves as the back-handed compliment and the white editors make certain to hire a writer with some black heritage to pen it. In other words to deflect any charges of bias they'll say the (condescending or derogatory) tone and content was at the discretion of that writer. They were of course pulling the puppet strings. At any time they could find a writer who could produce a quality piece of substance that is equally compelling and informative.

Another agenda is to do these types of black people 101 stories where they do a superficial exploration of something that has been a bone of contention for many. Like our hair apparently. It's either feast or famine apparently. They have gone from ignoring us completely or only reporting the worst offenders to having an axe to grind. When do these shrinking sources of legit media offer an exhaustive, inspiring or accurate portrayal? It's a fluke but it does occur from time to time.

Not that I don't welcome media coverage for things like the population of missing and exploited women and children. Or having our beauty touted in a favorable light. There's just no balance. It can't all be about our First Lady or some variation of " Black Woman It Sucks To Be You". There's a fine line to be had in discussing obstacles and in evaluating stereotypes or exposing pathologies. How we respond is equally as important for we can do things that help elevate our image or chip away at recent progress.

We need to be wary and evaluate who wants to engage in these conversations and why. It is often not designed to be helpful in removing barriers but to reinforce them. Why are we letting other people dictate what should be our own agenda with a message we take responsibility for and protect?