A Very Heartfelt Letter of Gratitude

One of the charities I donate to is Women for Women International and I received a message from its President. This organization helps women in foreign war-torn areas rebuild their lives. I was so moved I had to share it with you all. Sometimes all we need is a bit of perspective to remind ourselves how blessed we truly are despite our own difficulties navigating through life:

A long time ago, the staff of Women for Women International decided that we would not do a gift exchange during the holiday season. Rather, we would share something symbolic with each other—a word, a song, or a wish.

There was the year where we sang songs to each other, the year when we made dishes for each other, and the year in which we gave the gift of words to each other. I remember a colleague wishing me not only good health so I can keep on going, deep love so my heart may be filled, but also enough challenges to keep me humble and enough pain to remind me of my blessings. I thought this was the most beautiful gift I had ever gotten and, God knows, the prayer did come true.

This year, around a simple pizza gathering, we shared what we are most grateful for. (Perhaps not the most ideal holiday party, but we are a nonprofit and there is a financial crisis going on out there. We need to squeeze everything we can out of each penny.)

And, I think, this year was the most profound sharing of gifts I’ve ever had. 

The night before, my father had called me from Baghdad and was complaining about how tough life is in Iraq—how there is only limited electricity each day, how water pressure is so weak one barely gets enough water (let alone clean water), how there was a bomb that exploded in neighborhoods all around him. And, as I was trying to calm him down, I was also thankful that he is alive, that my loved ones are alive and though he and other family members have endured so much, they are still there in my life. For my father's love, I am very grateful. 

The week before, an Afghan colleague was sharing her worries about her children's safety and while she will do anything to keep working for the women we serve, she just wants to make sure that her son’s life is safe. For her courage, determination, and love I am deeply grateful. 

And just the month before, I had the privilege of spending time with Honorata, a woman whom I first met as a participant receiving Women for Women International services in DR Congo and just recently, I met her as a colleague, a hero, and a great teacher in this life. On her first visit to the United States, Honorata stood in front of more than 800 people and gave her testimony about what she endured during her sexual enslavement in DR Congo, "I was married and was wearing a wedding ring on my finger. They sawed off the ring and, because of that, my finger can no longer function properly. They said I was nobody's wife and, at the same time, I was the wife of everyone. They called me ‘a meal’. Everybody who was hungry for sex could take me as their meal. After raping me, they would pick up any rag, put it on the end of their rifle, and insert it into me, saying that they were wiping me clean”. These were just some of the things she shared in telling her story. Later on, and in a private conversation with me, she talked about how important it was for her to have the power not to look back, not to have her past paralyze her life, to be able to love more, and speak more, and share more. Her resilience shows an amazing part of humanity's strength, courage, and beauty and for her I am incredibly grateful. 

I have always known that the women we serve and the colleagues we work with in our overseas offices will always be a source of inspiration for me. But, as many of us do, I have often traveled the world and looked ahead for what I will be grateful for and often forgotten to pay attention to what is around me every day, to show my gratitude to those who sometimes, because of their closeness, I do not always give them the time needed to communicate my love and admiration for them. This is what Sibongile taught me in our holiday party. 

As we went around the room in our headquarters office in Washington D.C., my colleagues expressed all kinds of gratitude. There were those who were grateful to have found love in their lives, those who were grateful for doing the work they do, and those who were grateful for good health. And then there was Sibongile, a newer staff member. She took a deep breath and talked about how she was grateful for the ability to communicate with one another, how she was grateful to live in a peaceful country, how she was grateful to have the basics in life. “Don't worry about the financial crisis", she said as she tried to put into perspective one's life, the gift of communication, the gift of sharing, and the gift of showing what is most valuable in our lives: love, kindness and generosity of spirit.

Sibongile grew up in South Africa under the apartheid regime and witnessed the disappearance and death of loved ones in her life, days without much food or basic amenities, and days of fighting and instability in her life. Sibongile and I have only met once before in her 9 months with Women for Women International, but I am deeply grateful to her for teaching me to see the blessings and wisdom that has been so close to me all year long, yet, I didn't spend much time to appreciate it. For the beauty of her words and her spirit, I am very grateful. 

As we all embark on a new year—hopefully a good year, a peaceful year, and, yes, maybe a tough year, but never for too long—remember to notice the blessings that are close to you and far away from you, remember to take the time to share a sweet word with someone, and hopefully, with a woman in a war torn region. Write a letter to your sponsored sister. If you have not yet sponsored a sister, please go to www.womenforwomen.org and sponsor a woman survivor of war. Share with her some of your financial blessings, some of your love, and some of your wisdom. 

And remember Rumi's words when he said:

Dance, when you're broken open
Dance, if you've torn the bandage off
Dance, in the middle of the fighting
Dance, in your blood
Dance, when you're perfectly free

May it be a very happy 2009.

With deep gratitude for all of your support,

Zainab

Women for Women International 

4455 Connecticut Ave NW Suite 200 

Washington, DC 20008

The book, "The Other Side of War: Women's Stories of Survival and Hope" would make a great gift as well. 

Do Something

Hmmmm there's lots going on today. Stephanie Tubbs-Jones may have succumbed to life-threatening injuries.

Some Obama supporters have already given up and there's an awful lot of complaining about what he's not doing:

a. Speaking for Black People. Advocating for Black People. Talking in glowing terms about Black people. All the time!!!
b. Fighting/Attacking/Kicking Ass and telling whitey that they're whitey and they're racists and they suck.
c. He's too articulate. He needs to speak s-l-o-w-l-y and spell his words and use a 3rd grade primer because most voters are dumber than a doorknob.

Now I admit I'm not 100% team Obama. I have questions. I don't want any surprises. I don't expect him to save me, but I don't want to find out "Satan's" been pulling the strings either. It's beyond hope in a jar. It's like Mr. Right showing up at your door and you send him away because he's nothing like what you expected so you REJECT him. Instead you go back to the guy who cheats on you and beats you. You hate it, but not nearly enough to walk away from it. The abuse is comforting in its depravity.

We're so jaded and doubtful. We also need to think critically, hold him accountable and make sure our voices don't get drowned out. I shouldn't have to worry about that $250K donor getting access over me, but that's how this country operates. The thing is.....we can change that. Or at least lessen it's influence.

I figured it was going to be Clinton vs. Guiliani. I was not looking forward to this election cycle really because it was going to be another situation with choosing the lesser of unsatisfactory candidates. Yeah I got the "Bill Clinton was an Amazing President and Our Budget Was Balanced" memo, but..... I saw that NAFTA sucked and millions of jobs disappeared into the ether, there was a tidal wave of newly poor risking life and limb to cross the border, the FCC went to sleep, Clear Channel bought everything that wasn't nailed down and I stopped listening to the radio. Oh yeah...let's not forget WalMart and the Big Box stores taking their revenue out of their area of operation, the crappy pay and discrimination. I just couldn't get on board the Clinton Express. I didn't think staying with a man who'd humiliated you for years was a reason to vote for the wife of a former President.

Yeah, yeah I know comparing the Clintons to the Bushes is a big no-no. But those years went from bad to worse to me praying for the 2004 version of Noah's Arc so we could start over AGAIN. But my conscience is clear because I never voted for Shrub. I was in the UK in 2003. I saw the bodies of the dead children and people with limbs blown off because it wasn't censored by the media. I read articles in the newspapers protesting the war and Tony Blair's capitulation to the US. I even marched in a million-strong protest in Hyde Park. It got so bad I had to tell people I was Canadian. Being Black gave me no reprieve from the anti-US gov't and citizen outrage of the Brits and Europeans.

I was relieved when Obama started kicking butt and taking names despite a whole bunch of shade being thrown his way. By other Black people in leadership positions. By so many people who thought they were above racism. By a lot of pampered and privileged white women. By other people who either wish to co-opt or destroy what they can't control. Of course there are some deep pockets and powerful people supporting his candidacy. This country wouldn't have it any other way. It was built on back-room deals, exploitations and murder.

But let's be positive shall we? I really like Michelle. No I don't know her but she seemed like someone who knew what time it was. Of course all the attacks on her personage appear to confirm that. Yes the Obamas have to be vetted for their commitment to all of us regular folk, but we let our votes be taken for granted by white people for YEARS. Yes - some of us - have woken up. FINALLY. It's about time!

There is another great candidate running on the Green Party ticket. Cynthia McKinney. Watch American Blackout. She is fierce, she is unbossed. She was chewed up and spit out for fighting the good fight. She might still get my vote just because. If the Green Party gets 5% of the vote nation-wide they'll get Congressional representation. Anything to break up the 2-party monopoly! In a fair and just world......

So here we are 10-11 weeks away from Doomsday. How many people are going to limit themselves by voting against their interests? I'm not even going to get into why voting for McCain should result in an immediate ban from living in this country. "Satan" doesn't have to pull his strings. That was strictly a volunteer assignment! He will certainly be beneficial for the ones that benefit from back-room deals, exploitation and murder. Now is not the time to be dumb. God gives us choices and then we have to live with them. The Republicans have had free reign for 8 years and you can see the result of that. If you only care about yourself and foolishly think there won't be any blowback then go ahead and pull the lever for the liar/cheater/wife-beater.

There's things we the average Joe, Juanita, Janiqua or Jamal can do.

1. Phone Bank
2. Register people to vote
3. Sign up to be a Poll Worker - cuz you know some funny stuff will go down
4. Write about the hypocrisy of the Corporate Media and all their surrogates
5. Donate money

You know we could talk about how wrong things are, how unfair the system is, how we have questions, how we're not sure, how some candidates are not fit, how we don't like the way they're running their campaign, how we'd do things differently if WE were in charge, blah blah blah!!!!

DO SOMETHING AND STOP TALKING ABOUT DOING SOMETHING.


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Remember the Macy Gray song on her debut album? I really liked it when it came out. Now that it's been nearly a decade you can see and hear how well her songs and videos have held up. She is definitely not your average girl with a record deal. We need more artists like her and Santogold and M.I.A. and Rachel Yamagata and Res and Roisin Murphy and Choklate and Zaki Ibrahim and Estelle and Sia and J*Davey and __________ add your own artist, plant the seeds and watch them grow.


Enjoy!