Showing posts with label Positive Thinking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Positive Thinking. Show all posts

Monday, August 10, 2009

Life May Not Always Be Fair But It Can Still Be Great!

There's a list of 51 Lessons in this article by Regina Brett and here are some of the gems with my thoughts on them:

1. Life Isn't Fair, But It's Still Good
Our lives have unique challenges aside from individual upbringing and personal development. Modern black women also have to content with a landscape that is more openly hostile to our fulfillment as individuals and as a group compared to other women. We are collectively on our own if we are relying on getting support from depleted sources (i.e the "black community"). What's good about this is that we are free to seek resources elsewhere and should do so with haste. We have a purse of more than $750B to spend wherever and however we like. It's time to stop wasting our thoughts, time, energy and resources in any way that doesn't benefit us.

2. When In Doubt, Just Take The Next Small Step
Put one foot in front of the other literally and figuratively speaking. Some concepts regarding our free agency may be difficult to grasp even after we think we've accepted them. It's called getting stuck. You know you can't go back but you're afraid to make a misstep in going forward. So you stand still. Wrong! You must keep moving. Think of it as being on a conveyer belt. You can't block the propelling motion but you can trip over yourself up trying to stop it. Resist the urge to go back. Wherever you go next it's still so much better than where you've been. Just keep moving.

3. Make Peace With Your Past So It Won't Mess Up Your Future
I modified this from the author's quote of it messing with one's present. We are in the present right NOW. Or at least we should be. I find myself drifting off into reevaluating my life that I look back at all the mistakes I've made as well as how other people have messed me up with their foibles. For some of us it may be even more damaging. We can't wave a magic wand over it and make it go away. I find doing affirmations and some of these "new age" techniques make me angry because it diminishes my experiences. It doesn't make it all better. What I have found is that I can think about what I'd like my life to look like for the immediate future. I have created a "Day In My Life" scenario where I think about the life-affirming things I can do for myself. I think about specific activities, what type of relationships I want, how those interactions take shape and what choices will get me there. I am reworking an entire life Vision Board (goal setting) for myself.

4. Don't Compare Your Life To Others
This stops the what ifs, the if onlys and the could would shoulda urge to kick ourselves.

5. Life Is Too Short For Pity Parties
As we realize certain models no longer have value it's easy to be tempted to look back and wallow. We have to acknowledge our experiences but keep going forward.

6. No One Is Responsible For Your Happiness But YOU
If we stop looking to external circumstances, relying on others to "act right" or resorting to magical thinking we will realize no career, person, x amount of money or anything temporary will truly satisfy us. Peace of mind is the goal. Which means we have to take care of ourselves first and foremost. 

7. Get Rid Of Anything That Isn't Useful, Beautiful Or Joyful
That includes deadbeats, negative thought patterns, holding onto the past, having doubts, seeking approval, being accepted by certain people, shifting physicality whatever will be an obstacle to our living our best lives. 

8. Read the Psalms - They Cover Every Human Emotion
I think having a solid spiritual practice is a necessity. Many of us will have to replace the time we've spent supporting "religiosity" with something more meaningful. That's up to us as individuals to determine what works best for us. Exploring this as well as other tenets is a good place to start.

9. If You Don't Ask, You Don't Get
We're not an island. We need help from time to time. We have to build relationships and alliances. We also have to try new things and be bold. Instead of thinking about the obstacles we have to find solutions. That can be more challenging than what is comfortable. So the variation of this theme is: if we don't go for it, we'll never get it. We have to try in order to "fail". Those failures will often lead us to a victory or breakthrough of some sort because we put ourselves out there to begin with. As opposed to hiding under the covers and letting life pass us by.

10. The Best Is Yet To Come
This is my kind of affirmation. Whatever has happened is done. We don't have to repeat it. Today is a new day. We wipe the slate clean. If we're still alive this is our "do-over". This is why we put one foot in front of the other. This is why we look and move forward!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Career Reinvention Tactics



Just because some of us may be hurting doesn't mean everyone is - insert Wall Street CEOs with a side eye. So you may need to retrain for a different career than the one you've held or perhaps this is the time to step into what you've always wanted to do. Starting February 18th Stanford University is offering one component that's part of a National Entrepeneurship Week USA (as well as a Global initiative). So check your local school to find out if they're participating. It's geared towards students as well as the general public - people who wish to be innovative and adapt 21st century tactics. 

This is especially important because the United States no longer manufactures products like during the Industrial age and post-WWII. We are consumers and borrowers of large amounts of debt - which is why we're in this economic mess. Oh and let's not forget the Military Industrial Complex. 

I want to explore looking for solutions and taking actions to force inertia and not giving in to negativity and worry. Here's a few sample programs that look very interesting.

2/24 Tuesday
"Startup 101" Job Fair
Noon-4:00 PM, Tresidder Union

Explore job opportunities with over 101 startups and larger companies looking for entrepreneurial talent. Employers represent a wide range of industries, from Web 2.0 to cleantech, medical devices, and biotech. Raffle prizes will be given away throughout the event.

Employers should register here for an exhibition space. 

Host: A partnership of several student entrepreneurship groups on campus and The Career Development Center

Entrepreneurship Mixer
5:00-7:00 PM, Graduate School of Business (GSB), South Building, Lower Arbuckle Lounge

Network with students, entrepreneurs, venture capitalists, and other members of the entrepreneurship community, while enjoying complimentary hors d'oeuvres and beverages. This loosely structured event will help ensure that you get an opportunity to talk to others in your field of interest.

Host: GSB Entrepreneur Club

Creativity Challenge: James Bond Casino Caper
7:30-9:30 PM, Top Secret Location

Dress as your favorite James Bond character (or not) and join us for a glamorous soiree while mingling with the stars and enjoying Blackjack, Craps and other casino favorites. Sometime during the evening your entrepreneurial spirit will be put to the test, and you may just be blown away. Come armed with your creativity and sense of adventure. Space is limited to the first 35 people.

Host: Stanford Technology Ventures Program (STVP)
2/25 Wednesday
Annual GSB Entrepreneurship Conference
11:00 AM-4:00 PM, Graduate School of Business

This intensive session addresses practical issues associated with creating sustainable businesses. It features speakers and panels for aspiring and early stage entrepreneurs. There is a fee for this event, and registration is required (http://www.econference.org/).

Host: Center for Entrepreneurial Studies, Graduate School of Business

"The Next Big Thing": A special presentation of the Entrepreneurial Thought Leaders Lecture Series
4:30-6:00 PM, Kresge Auditorium

Featured Speakers:
Tim Draper, Founder and a Managing Director of Draper Fisher Jurvetson
Tony Perkins, CEO, AlwaysOn
Michael Moe, Founding Partner, ThinkPanmure, and Author (Finding the Next Starbucks: How to Identify and Invest in the Hot Stocks of Tomorrow)

As part of the Entrepreneurship Week closing finale, find out what the hot entrepreneurial opportunities are today and tomorrow, as three of the most forward-looking and insightful thought leaders in Silicon Valley weigh in. They'll debate, argue and discuss their way through an analysis of where technology is going and where to start placing your bets. An audience Q&A will follow. We'll also announce the winners of the 2008 Bike Safety Invention Challenge and feature special highlights from throughout Entrepreneurship Week.

Host: Stanford Technology Ventures Program (STVP) and Business Association of Stanford Entpreneurial Students (BASES), the Stanford Biodesign Program

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Sunday, February 8, 2009

Inertia Creeps In One Direction or Another


Happy Sunday. Tonight it's the Grammy Awards and I've had loads of fun reading messages from their hired bloggers and staff on Twitter and perusing their new FaceBook page. Social media is here to stay. One of my friends is having a housewarming party later this evening. I happen to be a member of the Recording Academy but will skip the local viewing event though the restaurant it's being held in serves a great breaded shrimp cocktail! 

Speaking of social media I was just selected to win a complementary admission to the UGCX Conference on Monday. Thanks Mashable! I need to find out if there's free wifi so I can live-blog it, otherwise I'll have to do a post later. I'm looking forward to expanding my horizons because I am far from an expert on this. There are four sections: Photography, Music, Social Content and Video & Gaming. It's in San Jose and a 4-hour RT commute but definitely worthy of checking out. 

One of my favorite artists, Amel Larrieux sends out messages to her fans on a  distribution list. I always enjoy the light and positivity she puts into them.  She's an indie artist now and one of her largest fan bases is in the Bay Area. I don't remember the last time I've gone to a concert where adults bring their children (I'm talking infants through teens) and an entire family can see one artist. It's really nice and not something corporations bent on maximum profits at the expense of degrading others (typically Black women in the case of Hip-Hop/R&B) look for when signing artists. All we need is one flicker of light in a dark place to guide us away from it. So I had to share this. She always mixes culture with politics with a glimpse of her family life as well as updating us on her music projects. 

LEDBETTER 
Is it merely a coincidence that the name of one of the first bills to get passed by our brilliant president sums up what we will be telling our kids’ kids about the job he did? I don’t think so! Show and prove, baby; SHOW AND PROVE. It was about time. And Lilly Ledbetter ain’t from a progressive, liberal northern environment, either. You can read all about the woman after whom the bill was named and its details on www.npr.org. Pertaining to the subject of President Obama (who, by the way, Laru and I would like to hear more journalists and media folk stop referring to as just, “Obama”), the broadcast of A Prairie Home Companion from the week before last, showcased Garrison Keeler’s tender dedication to our new president and first family in the form of an ode and a song. I was driving my eldest somewhere when it aired and as the tears rolled down my face, she totally got it. If there is ANY WAY you all can access this broadcast from www.npr.org, I feel that you are in for a treat. The media, by the way, would like to keep their jobs, so the sensationalism swirling around this new president about the stimulus plan is one way to get people watching their respective news shows. I’m not fooled here-there is so much of the prior administration’s muck to clean up in that ocean of scum that is Washington and corporate America that of course our president and his folks are going to come up looking dirty before they look clean: they have to virtually wade through! 

Chris Connor’s buttery voice is the backdrop as I write. Where are you, is the song, which has one of my favorite intros of all time. My favorite cut is called, all about ronnie, and song my mom wants me to cover, She is one of a handful of singers whose inimitable voice I secretly wish to come back with in my next life.☺ Her voice is so warm and dulcet, it nearly intoxicates. Good cold-weather listening. The east and the northeast are brick, (does anyone outside of Brooklyn use this word?), snowy and icy, yet quite beguiling: a classic, northern, powdery, alabaster landscape for your viewing enjoyment, every other day. Yes: to shovel snow and chip ice from your windshield or moustache steals the charm from this season. I am practicing the gathering of any beneficial good from every scenario I am exposed to, to reduce stress on the heart, body and mind. SOCAL might just be the place to be, for those of you who fancy the milder temperatures. Sun and the pacific are quite a sight and feelin’. The burnt sienna of the earth; the fragrance of the flora mixed with the saltiness of the sea; peach afternoons and cinnamon nights. The intimacy of Nina Simone singing, I think its going to rain today, juxtaposed with all that west-coast space and sky kind of helps you not feel so, small.

Everybody and their mama has a cold or the flu- my littlest one got hit by the latter and hurled all over the hallway at school, as told by the nurse. My eldest keeps picking up the same, stinky cold and cough, as though she left that particular strain of cold flu on the handle of her backpack. Brew some goldenseal root, if you can handle it. My parents used to make a big thermos of it laced with honey and make me drink it til there was just that green looking sandy stuff at the bottom. But hey- I never had a cold for long. Scout’s honor. The sun takes forever to awake, too. I do the sun salutation way before that pretty sucker even shows up☺ Its kinda kooky, watching my kids eat breakfast in the dark. Reading is essential when holed up due to the weather, so I got the new malcolm gladwell after hearing laru and my mom rave about his other works, and the gargantuan novel, middlemarch, gifted to me by my mom, after we realized I hadn’t read it. I never got around to so many of the “classics”, probably because I was reading my idea of classic: malcom x, toni morrison, alice walker, virginia hamilton, chinua achebe…. Know what I’m saying? Now that we have a BLACK president, I think I can bring myself to read the stuff my eldest has been reading since sixth grade-the year her school dubbed her a “classic reader”. I am actually reading, to kill a mockingbird to my youngest, and I forgot how deeply affective is this book. I may be enjoying it more than she is. The bonus is that if she can put down that twilight series (which I had no qualms with until she preceded to reread them and shun all else) long enough to finish this book, we’ll rent the movie, and what a movie it is! I wanted to hug gregory peck for putting all those ignoramuses in their places. That story never gets old. I think we’ll read middle passage, next. I need to be there when she experiences that writing.

Speaking of writing…I am swimming in it! Totally immersed, ensconced, etc., etc. I am afraid to talk on the phone too much as though I could lose words and thoughts; as though ideas would have fewer vessels on which to board if I speak the words instead of writing them. I HEART texting. It lets me use my muscle as well as hold on to my friends and family, whom I could easily offend with my lack of phone action. I go to sleep between 9pm- if I’m lucky- and 10, so whatever’s happening creatively has gotta go down, sometime between 6am and bedtime. I’ve been DVR-ing stuff I like, but the only show I actually ever make time for is 24, though I am two episodes behind and only watch it while I’m doing exercises that are not yoga .You could hear a collective sigh in the larrieux household when that show finally came back. I get all anticipatory and what not, as I did for the cosby show on thursday nights. I did catch the first episode of the united states of tara and –holy smokes, is that show unique! To watch toni collete in this role is humbling, for anyone who has ever dared to consider acting. The only other thing I make time for is going outdoors. Any time of day, rain or shine, I must connect with real air at some point in the day. I worked all day yesterday, and it was not until the sky was dark and the snowflakes had become plump did I find a minute to get some air. One of the few souls with the desire and – quite possibly- schedule to permit such a frolic, I walked- no- pranced along a narrow, river path. The snow glowed about me – as though lit from beneath. It was just pure powder underfoot! And that delightful quiet that comes with heavy snowfall-as though this weightless, magical dust absorbs sound and you are hearing yourself think, for a change. Every inch of world appeared cloaked in the stuff, as though a giant baker from a childhood picture book had sprinkled the earth with confectioners’ sugar. My pace quickened; I felt intoxicated and a bit giddy from all the velvety stillness. Again; the fusion of opposites provoking a similar reaction within me. For that small window of time, the entire world was radiant. How often can you say that? It has not happened to me with much frequency! If only I’d picked up some of those snow pants for myself when I got them for my daughter, I surely would have left my signature: an adult sized snow angel. 

Food preparation is the chief interrupter of my work, these days. I prepare most of our meals myself so I am privy to all of the ingredients and this way we are safe from preservatives and allergens. The meals tend to be quite swift in preparation due to our particular whole/ real -foods diet and so I can get back to work. My newest fave for myself is so easy and tasty and mega nutritious, I felt the need to share. This is suitable for any meal of the day. Our household has a broad view of what each meal can be: fish and veggies with rice or porridge for breakfast or dinner. Therefore, I keep a lot of organic pre roasted nori around because its good for snacking or crumbling into dishes or making hand rolls. Well, I really love hand rolls, so I've been just bringing some sheets of nori to the table to accompany any dish I desire. If you suffer from hypothyroidism you’ll want to make sure to cook all sea veggies as they can encourage goiters, some practitioners say. At breakfast, I may scramble egg whites with onions, spinach and portobello mushrooms, drizzle with toasted sesame oil, sprinkle with some gomasio (mine has sesame seeds, sea salt and seaweed) and stuff it in a sheet of nori. Equally as scrumptious is a combo of brown rice, steamed or sautéed greens (kale, chard, collards are all nice, alone or mixed). If you like fish, you can add one .A canned tuna or salmon will do, if you are short on time. Mix these ingredients together in a pan, drizzle with a good quality, dark green olive oil, sea salt, cracked red pepper, dried basil and a squeeze of lemon juice. You can add gomasio if you enjoy it as much as I do. This is delicioso in a nori wrap, as well. I have fallen hard for the raw, dark chocolate from raw chocolate love, nyc. Its raw, made from super foods, vegan, agave sweetened instead of that mean ol’ sugar, non-dairy, soy and gluten free and 100% organic. I can allow myself and my kids to have it and not feel an ounce of guilt or have an allergy attack! Lastly, I found a great way to make dairy free, vegan pancakes for the whole fam to enjoy but substituting pumpkin puree or applesauce or both for eggs. Just add some cinnamon and nutmeg in the batter and -for an extra dose of healthy- sprinkle in some flax meal. We use gluten free pancake mix and the kids don’t seem to complain. I share these recipes cuz I know how much it helps me to exchange food info with others. 

As I wrap up this post, I find myself practically lifting off my seat, so full from the sound of Kathleen battle’s voice. My heart stirs and swells and grows wings with the ascension of each, glorious note, until I feel it will burst out of my chest and fly away. And here I am-a puddle of a woman- left weeping to the sounds of another unreasonably, gorgeous voice. 

I guess that’s what laru means when he says I am dramatic☺ 

P.S.- the recording of kathleeen battle – which anyone in their right mind would want at this very moment- is called, kathleen battle in concert, kathleen battle and james levine. She does a version of, he’s got the whole world in his hands that is, in my eyes, one of the post poignant and perfectly sung pieces of all time. xo amel
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Monday, December 15, 2008

Sometimes What We Really Need Is A Hug

With this emphasis on the exchange of material goods as a reward, we all know how some people have lost their damn minds. The religious and cultural practices take a back seat to getting that video game console or MP3 player. Some parents are feeling such financial strain, children are now asking for jobs to help their parents out. 
Dear Santa:
I am thirteen years old. My family has never had to ask for help before.

My mom and my dad have always had okay jobs and we were fine. Last year my mom got sick and she had to stop working. The bills from the doctors are very high. Even though my dad still is working, we don’t have enough money always to buy the things we need.

My teacher told me I could write to you because what I really want for Christmas is some new clothes.
We literally buy into this idea that to celebrate something with our friends and families requires a price tag and feel inadequate when we have to cut back and be frugal. Who really wants to stick to a budget if we've chosen to believe that bigger is better? We're missing the point though. Unless a larger event looms over our consciousness such as the death of a relative or something else that's usually unpleasant and unwanted, it takes a serious effort at recognizing our indoctrination.

People also mistake feelings of affection or lust as something that indicates familiarity and compatibility with another. How many people think of guarding their bodies as a necessity when we live in a society that likes to skip over getting to know themselves let alone another person? Unless we've been taught to value ourselves and learned how to evaluate others, we'll have to fumble our way through a bumpy road to enlightenment. The way people practice their religiosity can further compound that growth.

It's not an easy thing to accept when those that look like you could be your worst enemies or when blood ties are worthless. It could make one want to stay in bed and never leave. We have to look for that silver lining that's within every cloud. No matter how difficult things get there's someone else who has it worse. We may be under the weather but we can get through the storm. We just need to believe it and take the most miniscule of steps to move forward. One never knows how that smile you give a person on the street today could be the thing that gets them through it. That's why sometimes we don't need grand gestures or major declarations. Sometimes all we really need is a hug: literal or virtual.
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