It was in a scene from Matrix Reloaded where Morpheus was giving his latest pep talk/call to arms to Niobe and the rest of the humans fighting to be free from machine domination.
"All of our lives, we have fought this war. Tonight I believe we can end it. Tonight is not an accident. There are no accidents. We have not come here by chance. I do not believe in chance. When I see three objectives, three captains, three ships. I do not see coincidence, I see providence. I see purpose. I believe it our fate to be here. It is our destiny. I believe this night holds for each and every one of us, the very meaning of our lives."
****
Despite my misgivings about how not only won't it be like Christmas everyday with an Obama Presidency, but we may have to fight off a giant whitelash, lol, I have to tell you how much I'll be looking forward to standing in the freezing cold in D.C. for the inauguration. It just might happen. I'd just like to see a certain Green Party Presidential candidate with a seat at the table victorious in surviving the knife put in her back. Which I can't help but wonder if it was put there partially because she was a Black woman and betrayed by other Black people in leadership positions.
Anyhoo, I would be equally if not more giddy at a certain Michelle Robinson Obama as First Lady. That would forever put the nail in the coffin to the Daughters of the Revolution don't you think? The degrees and careers of the Obamas outside of politics are not so unique when one doesn't play into the "Black People Are Inferior" indoctrination that continues to be force-fed to this day. Actually they are not even close to being elite despite the corporate media and Rethug lying about it. Growing up poor with no pedigree one can hopefully see a trend of hard work and determination forming but certainly no white-version of affirmative action [corporate bail-outs, legacy admissions to schools, the original receipients of the GI Bill and pardons for committing crimes].
You do realize the billions of dollars that the gov't spends on helping out its 'friends' is a mere pittance compared to the few millions it spends on say Food Stamps and other social welfare programs [the bulk of which go to, you guessed it, white people]? It also shows how little they actually know about Black people in this country and the world. Or perhaps they do know but they persist in keeping the lies going and the masses just don't ask enough questions.
It's 11 weeks and counting. What will you stand for?
****
R.I.P. Rep. Tubbs-Jones.
P.S.
Here's a great video from MoveOn that touches on this.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Do Something
Hmmmm there's lots going on today. Stephanie Tubbs-Jones may have succumbed to life-threatening injuries.
Some Obama supporters have already given up and there's an awful lot of complaining about what he's not doing:
a. Speaking for Black People. Advocating for Black People. Talking in glowing terms about Black people. All the time!!!
b. Fighting/Attacking/Kicking Ass and telling whitey that they're whitey and they're racists and they suck.
c. He's too articulate. He needs to speak s-l-o-w-l-y and spell his words and use a 3rd grade primer because most voters are dumber than a doorknob.
Now I admit I'm not 100% team Obama. I have questions. I don't want any surprises. I don't expect him to save me, but I don't want to find out "Satan's" been pulling the strings either. It's beyond hope in a jar. It's like Mr. Right showing up at your door and you send him away because he's nothing like what you expected so you REJECT him. Instead you go back to the guy who cheats on you and beats you. You hate it, but not nearly enough to walk away from it. The abuse is comforting in its depravity.
We're so jaded and doubtful. We also need to think critically, hold him accountable and make sure our voices don't get drowned out. I shouldn't have to worry about that $250K donor getting access over me, but that's how this country operates. The thing is.....we can change that. Or at least lessen it's influence.
I figured it was going to be Clinton vs. Guiliani. I was not looking forward to this election cycle really because it was going to be another situation with choosing the lesser of unsatisfactory candidates. Yeah I got the "Bill Clinton was an Amazing President and Our Budget Was Balanced" memo, but..... I saw that NAFTA sucked and millions of jobs disappeared into the ether, there was a tidal wave of newly poor risking life and limb to cross the border, the FCC went to sleep, Clear Channel bought everything that wasn't nailed down and I stopped listening to the radio. Oh yeah...let's not forget WalMart and the Big Box stores taking their revenue out of their area of operation, the crappy pay and discrimination. I just couldn't get on board the Clinton Express. I didn't think staying with a man who'd humiliated you for years was a reason to vote for the wife of a former President.
Yeah, yeah I know comparing the Clintons to the Bushes is a big no-no. But those years went from bad to worse to me praying for the 2004 version of Noah's Arc so we could start over AGAIN. But my conscience is clear because I never voted for Shrub. I was in the UK in 2003. I saw the bodies of the dead children and people with limbs blown off because it wasn't censored by the media. I read articles in the newspapers protesting the war and Tony Blair's capitulation to the US. I even marched in a million-strong protest in Hyde Park. It got so bad I had to tell people I was Canadian. Being Black gave me no reprieve from the anti-US gov't and citizen outrage of the Brits and Europeans.
I was relieved when Obama started kicking butt and taking names despite a whole bunch of shade being thrown his way. By other Black people in leadership positions. By so many people who thought they were above racism. By a lot of pampered and privileged white women. By other people who either wish to co-opt or destroy what they can't control. Of course there are some deep pockets and powerful people supporting his candidacy. This country wouldn't have it any other way. It was built on back-room deals, exploitations and murder.
But let's be positive shall we? I really like Michelle. No I don't know her but she seemed like someone who knew what time it was. Of course all the attacks on her personage appear to confirm that. Yes the Obamas have to be vetted for their commitment to all of us regular folk, but we let our votes be taken for granted by white people for YEARS. Yes - some of us - have woken up. FINALLY. It's about time!
There is another great candidate running on the Green Party ticket. Cynthia McKinney. Watch American Blackout. She is fierce, she is unbossed. She was chewed up and spit out for fighting the good fight. She might still get my vote just because. If the Green Party gets 5% of the vote nation-wide they'll get Congressional representation. Anything to break up the 2-party monopoly! In a fair and just world......
So here we are 10-11 weeks away from Doomsday. How many people are going to limit themselves by voting against their interests? I'm not even going to get into why voting for McCain should result in an immediate ban from living in this country. "Satan" doesn't have to pull his strings. That was strictly a volunteer assignment! He will certainly be beneficial for the ones that benefit from back-room deals, exploitation and murder. Now is not the time to be dumb. God gives us choices and then we have to live with them. The Republicans have had free reign for 8 years and you can see the result of that. If you only care about yourself and foolishly think there won't be any blowback then go ahead and pull the lever for the liar/cheater/wife-beater.
There's things we the average Joe, Juanita, Janiqua or Jamal can do.
1. Phone Bank
2. Register people to vote
3. Sign up to be a Poll Worker - cuz you know some funny stuff will go down
4. Write about the hypocrisy of the Corporate Media and all their surrogates
5. Donate money
You know we could talk about how wrong things are, how unfair the system is, how we have questions, how we're not sure, how some candidates are not fit, how we don't like the way they're running their campaign, how we'd do things differently if WE were in charge, blah blah blah!!!!
DO SOMETHING AND STOP TALKING ABOUT DOING SOMETHING.
************************************
Remember the Macy Gray song on her debut album? I really liked it when it came out. Now that it's been nearly a decade you can see and hear how well her songs and videos have held up. She is definitely not your average girl with a record deal. We need more artists like her and Santogold and M.I.A. and Rachel Yamagata and Res and Roisin Murphy and Choklate and Zaki Ibrahim and Estelle and Sia and J*Davey and __________ add your own artist, plant the seeds and watch them grow.
Enjoy!
Some Obama supporters have already given up and there's an awful lot of complaining about what he's not doing:
a. Speaking for Black People. Advocating for Black People. Talking in glowing terms about Black people. All the time!!!
b. Fighting/Attacking/Kicking Ass and telling whitey that they're whitey and they're racists and they suck.
c. He's too articulate. He needs to speak s-l-o-w-l-y and spell his words and use a 3rd grade primer because most voters are dumber than a doorknob.
Now I admit I'm not 100% team Obama. I have questions. I don't want any surprises. I don't expect him to save me, but I don't want to find out "Satan's" been pulling the strings either. It's beyond hope in a jar. It's like Mr. Right showing up at your door and you send him away because he's nothing like what you expected so you REJECT him. Instead you go back to the guy who cheats on you and beats you. You hate it, but not nearly enough to walk away from it. The abuse is comforting in its depravity.
We're so jaded and doubtful. We also need to think critically, hold him accountable and make sure our voices don't get drowned out. I shouldn't have to worry about that $250K donor getting access over me, but that's how this country operates. The thing is.....we can change that. Or at least lessen it's influence.
I figured it was going to be Clinton vs. Guiliani. I was not looking forward to this election cycle really because it was going to be another situation with choosing the lesser of unsatisfactory candidates. Yeah I got the "Bill Clinton was an Amazing President and Our Budget Was Balanced" memo, but..... I saw that NAFTA sucked and millions of jobs disappeared into the ether, there was a tidal wave of newly poor risking life and limb to cross the border, the FCC went to sleep, Clear Channel bought everything that wasn't nailed down and I stopped listening to the radio. Oh yeah...let's not forget WalMart and the Big Box stores taking their revenue out of their area of operation, the crappy pay and discrimination. I just couldn't get on board the Clinton Express. I didn't think staying with a man who'd humiliated you for years was a reason to vote for the wife of a former President.
Yeah, yeah I know comparing the Clintons to the Bushes is a big no-no. But those years went from bad to worse to me praying for the 2004 version of Noah's Arc so we could start over AGAIN. But my conscience is clear because I never voted for Shrub. I was in the UK in 2003. I saw the bodies of the dead children and people with limbs blown off because it wasn't censored by the media. I read articles in the newspapers protesting the war and Tony Blair's capitulation to the US. I even marched in a million-strong protest in Hyde Park. It got so bad I had to tell people I was Canadian. Being Black gave me no reprieve from the anti-US gov't and citizen outrage of the Brits and Europeans.
I was relieved when Obama started kicking butt and taking names despite a whole bunch of shade being thrown his way. By other Black people in leadership positions. By so many people who thought they were above racism. By a lot of pampered and privileged white women. By other people who either wish to co-opt or destroy what they can't control. Of course there are some deep pockets and powerful people supporting his candidacy. This country wouldn't have it any other way. It was built on back-room deals, exploitations and murder.
But let's be positive shall we? I really like Michelle. No I don't know her but she seemed like someone who knew what time it was. Of course all the attacks on her personage appear to confirm that. Yes the Obamas have to be vetted for their commitment to all of us regular folk, but we let our votes be taken for granted by white people for YEARS. Yes - some of us - have woken up. FINALLY. It's about time!
There is another great candidate running on the Green Party ticket. Cynthia McKinney. Watch American Blackout. She is fierce, she is unbossed. She was chewed up and spit out for fighting the good fight. She might still get my vote just because. If the Green Party gets 5% of the vote nation-wide they'll get Congressional representation. Anything to break up the 2-party monopoly! In a fair and just world......
So here we are 10-11 weeks away from Doomsday. How many people are going to limit themselves by voting against their interests? I'm not even going to get into why voting for McCain should result in an immediate ban from living in this country. "Satan" doesn't have to pull his strings. That was strictly a volunteer assignment! He will certainly be beneficial for the ones that benefit from back-room deals, exploitation and murder. Now is not the time to be dumb. God gives us choices and then we have to live with them. The Republicans have had free reign for 8 years and you can see the result of that. If you only care about yourself and foolishly think there won't be any blowback then go ahead and pull the lever for the liar/cheater/wife-beater.
There's things we the average Joe, Juanita, Janiqua or Jamal can do.
1. Phone Bank
2. Register people to vote
3. Sign up to be a Poll Worker - cuz you know some funny stuff will go down
4. Write about the hypocrisy of the Corporate Media and all their surrogates
5. Donate money
You know we could talk about how wrong things are, how unfair the system is, how we have questions, how we're not sure, how some candidates are not fit, how we don't like the way they're running their campaign, how we'd do things differently if WE were in charge, blah blah blah!!!!
DO SOMETHING AND STOP TALKING ABOUT DOING SOMETHING.
************************************
Remember the Macy Gray song on her debut album? I really liked it when it came out. Now that it's been nearly a decade you can see and hear how well her songs and videos have held up. She is definitely not your average girl with a record deal. We need more artists like her and Santogold and M.I.A. and Rachel Yamagata and Res and Roisin Murphy and Choklate and Zaki Ibrahim and Estelle and Sia and J*Davey and __________ add your own artist, plant the seeds and watch them grow.
Enjoy!
I Believe the Kid
This aired a few days ago on the Sheppard Smith show on Fixed Noise, Faux News, whatever you want to call it. I caught the tail end of this during the original broadcast but thanks to the internets we have it for posterity.
Bay Area resident Amanda Kokoeva was visiting her relatives in South Ossetia when the fighting broke out between Russian and Georgian troops. As you may have heard the official US stance is Russia=bad and Georgia is the innocent virgin that must be saved from the big bad brute country. Well the facts are not so cut and dry and definitely leading to fairy tale status. It is the usual Neo-Con scenario with Israeli involvement sprinkled in and Georgia was expecting the US-led NATO forces to help them punk Russia.
If you recall Shrub said he could see inside Putin's soul. I wonder what he saw? Russia called their bluff, no NATO forces came and they got their asses kicked. John McCain put in his two-cents even though he is not POTUS, the Ferragamo-loving Russian expert National Security Advisor stepped in and a cease-fire was called. Only Russia hasn't exactly complied and are only like 95% gone as of today. See Putin doesn't play and he is not even President of Russia anymore, it's Dmitry Medvedev.
So a 12-year old was in a cafe with relatives when the ish hit the fan. She's really lucky to have escaped. Her family doesn't know the status of their relatives left behind either. The US has no leverage, no moral ground and can't say squat about diddly because of Iraq. The military is spread waaay to thin. How many people want to volunteer for World War III? Hands? Anyone? Yeah I didn't think so.
So the funny thing about this little interview is you have actual people who were involved in a situation that the gov't and media wants to spin a completely opposite story about. Amanda thanked the Russian troops for saving her and her aunt slams the Georgian President for starting some ish he can't finish. And they get cut off. Classic!
Hmmm makes me wonder about Hugo Chavez being sooooo bad per the US. For not allowing the expansion of NAFTA, for calling Shrub "El Diablo", for wanting to nationalize his country's resources instead of having conglomerates take over, for....resisting perhaps? Maybe just maybe things are not what they appear.
Think critically people and take a look under the bed for monsters.
Update: In a very dangerous game of chicken the US signed a deal with Poland to build a military base near the border of Russia. Boy this gov't sure does know how to keep the drama going! And just when we thought it was going to pop off with Iran. It's not too late to apply pressure, give this lots of press and talk about what a HORRIBLE idea this is!!!
Bay Area resident Amanda Kokoeva was visiting her relatives in South Ossetia when the fighting broke out between Russian and Georgian troops. As you may have heard the official US stance is Russia=bad and Georgia is the innocent virgin that must be saved from the big bad brute country. Well the facts are not so cut and dry and definitely leading to fairy tale status. It is the usual Neo-Con scenario with Israeli involvement sprinkled in and Georgia was expecting the US-led NATO forces to help them punk Russia.
If you recall Shrub said he could see inside Putin's soul. I wonder what he saw? Russia called their bluff, no NATO forces came and they got their asses kicked. John McCain put in his two-cents even though he is not POTUS, the Ferragamo-loving Russian expert National Security Advisor stepped in and a cease-fire was called. Only Russia hasn't exactly complied and are only like 95% gone as of today. See Putin doesn't play and he is not even President of Russia anymore, it's Dmitry Medvedev.
So a 12-year old was in a cafe with relatives when the ish hit the fan. She's really lucky to have escaped. Her family doesn't know the status of their relatives left behind either. The US has no leverage, no moral ground and can't say squat about diddly because of Iraq. The military is spread waaay to thin. How many people want to volunteer for World War III? Hands? Anyone? Yeah I didn't think so.
So the funny thing about this little interview is you have actual people who were involved in a situation that the gov't and media wants to spin a completely opposite story about. Amanda thanked the Russian troops for saving her and her aunt slams the Georgian President for starting some ish he can't finish. And they get cut off. Classic!
Hmmm makes me wonder about Hugo Chavez being sooooo bad per the US. For not allowing the expansion of NAFTA, for calling Shrub "El Diablo", for wanting to nationalize his country's resources instead of having conglomerates take over, for....resisting perhaps? Maybe just maybe things are not what they appear.
Think critically people and take a look under the bed for monsters.
Update: In a very dangerous game of chicken the US signed a deal with Poland to build a military base near the border of Russia. Boy this gov't sure does know how to keep the drama going! And just when we thought it was going to pop off with Iran. It's not too late to apply pressure, give this lots of press and talk about what a HORRIBLE idea this is!!!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Twitter is Gonna Jack Up My Cell Phone Bill
So I found a bunch of people on Twitter and allowed for SMS updates. Well damn! Who knew people would be sending so many messages. Or am I following too many people, hey? I've had a 400 text message plan and that was plenty. Now..not so much. Do I disable or upgrade to unlimited texts? I hate having to pay almost $70/month as it is. I have a Crackberry and PTL my service is with T-Mobile.
**Soapbox Alert**
By the way all you people with AT&T service should be taken to task with their FISA violations and all. I don't care that they carry the iPhone. You could buy it unlocked. Yeah it costs more, but you can't get insurance on it anyway and since some of you must be rich enough or in debt enough to keep funding your consumerist habits it shouldn't matter. Don't fund companies that promote foolishness, denigrate women or break the law. By the way T-Mobile and Credo Mobile did NOT violate FISA. Ok I'll get off my soapbox now.
The only reason my nearly $70 bill is so 'low' is because I've disabled my wireless access. My bill was $96/month. I just can't abide with spending nearly $100 per month for cell phone service. I love technology. I hate being overcharged. The amount of fees and taxes is upwards of $15 and FOR WHAT? I know that is still less than what Verizon and A T & T charges for comparable service. I have the My Faves plan and 1500 minutes, free nights & weekends and 400 SMS. That's pretty good but still grossly overpriced for what I'd pay in the UK or Europe where all incoming calls are free and they were sending SMS like 6 years ago. We are soooo behind the times.
I still haven't reconciled myself to the use of cobalt that can only be found in specific countries in Africa. Is this another jacked-up situation where the big conglomerates with the military backing of the West takes resources and the people get nothing and we are oblivious and willfully ignorant to the suffering of others? Hello I have enough problems - I just did a post about it!!!!
Anyway this was supposed to be a quick blurb because I got a Twitter message that Rachel Maddow is getting her own MSNBC show. Yeah for her! But my immediate thought was, where's the Black people, specifically a Black woman with her own prime-time, morning drive, late night, mid-day or early evening show? Donna Brazile would be a great host. Or Gwen Ifill [who should've gotten the Meet the Press post] or any number of qualified journalists or politically aware and socially conscious women of color. So this is a great start but let's not be patted on the head and sent away because 'they' let another [white] woman in. I just hope she doesn't start preaching the Oppression Olympics lie of how sexism is worse than racism by discounting Black women and other women of color. We'll see.
**Soapbox Alert**
By the way all you people with AT&T service should be taken to task with their FISA violations and all. I don't care that they carry the iPhone. You could buy it unlocked. Yeah it costs more, but you can't get insurance on it anyway and since some of you must be rich enough or in debt enough to keep funding your consumerist habits it shouldn't matter. Don't fund companies that promote foolishness, denigrate women or break the law. By the way T-Mobile and Credo Mobile did NOT violate FISA. Ok I'll get off my soapbox now.
The only reason my nearly $70 bill is so 'low' is because I've disabled my wireless access. My bill was $96/month. I just can't abide with spending nearly $100 per month for cell phone service. I love technology. I hate being overcharged. The amount of fees and taxes is upwards of $15 and FOR WHAT? I know that is still less than what Verizon and A T & T charges for comparable service. I have the My Faves plan and 1500 minutes, free nights & weekends and 400 SMS. That's pretty good but still grossly overpriced for what I'd pay in the UK or Europe where all incoming calls are free and they were sending SMS like 6 years ago. We are soooo behind the times.
I still haven't reconciled myself to the use of cobalt that can only be found in specific countries in Africa. Is this another jacked-up situation where the big conglomerates with the military backing of the West takes resources and the people get nothing and we are oblivious and willfully ignorant to the suffering of others? Hello I have enough problems - I just did a post about it!!!!
Anyway this was supposed to be a quick blurb because I got a Twitter message that Rachel Maddow is getting her own MSNBC show. Yeah for her! But my immediate thought was, where's the Black people, specifically a Black woman with her own prime-time, morning drive, late night, mid-day or early evening show? Donna Brazile would be a great host. Or Gwen Ifill [who should've gotten the Meet the Press post] or any number of qualified journalists or politically aware and socially conscious women of color. So this is a great start but let's not be patted on the head and sent away because 'they' let another [white] woman in. I just hope she doesn't start preaching the Oppression Olympics lie of how sexism is worse than racism by discounting Black women and other women of color. We'll see.
Tuesday Ramble
I'm still trying to figure out what I want to write about so for now I'm just gonna post whatever I feel like with no rhyme or reason. I'm still debating whether I want to be light and airy or fire and brimstone about the state of the world and how greed and corruption is killing us all, lol. I have little interest in writing about politics non-stop and because so many other blogs focus on the same stories and drink from the same fountain it gets kinda boring after a while. I'm also going to Denver next week to experience the sights and sounds of this Democratic Convention all the folks are talking about. Nope I am not credentialed. The thought had not even occurred to me that I could just go even if it meant going solo, not knowing anybody and not having made arrangements for a place to stay either. I found a generous soul who offered a spot to crash for 4 days without seeing it as a money-making venture. I'm less than 1,000 miles away so the plane fare wasn't dirt cheap but it was less than $250 so I just said, "Go for it!" to myself.
I need to give myself lots of pep talks these days. I am struggling and want to be more positive, positive period, because thoughts become actions so the saying goes. I need some things to change in my life. Namely where I live and how I live. I need to earn a living doing what I love, not just have a j-o-b. Yes it is a privilege but I have not been nor will I ever be happy settling for less. Believe me I have tried. It has something to do with why I am currently unemployed [that and a former employer bad-mouthing me] and though I KNOW I have to work and have no problem doing so I have to take a new direction. I also need a new place to live and have been dreaming about living by Duboce Park or Duboce Triangle. It is not easy finding a vacancy in these areas and quite a few people who rent have to share apartments. Thanks to low availability and over-inflated real estate I could very well have to pay $1000+ to share a small apartment with a bedroom the size of a closet.
Am I being negative again? Argh! I have a serious problem with perfectionism and being too hard on myself. I can be my own worst enemy. It only makes the real-life obstacles that present themselves all the more defeating. I have done many brave things in my life. I've made more than my share of mistakes. Mistakes should not be the death of us. Failure should not be the measure of how we define ourselves, as in if you don't have ___________ you are one.
I also need to be out socializing and making friends....but being a hermit and feeling slightly alienated from the world has some appeal right now. As for dating...I want the perfect guy for me to just appear out of the blue and not have to do anything but be. Yeah I am delusional. I am weary. I could just give up trying to have this dream of a great life I've envisioned for myself but I think that would be the end of me. Without hope there is nothing. Did I mention I want three kids as well? One of which will be adopted, due to the excessive number of Black children left in foster care.
I'm also still looking for a church I can call home or be able to accept that I will be dissatisfied on some level with "religion" because people are not perfect and many men have bastardized religious texts to keep control over people, esp. women. And I've never felt right with the gay is an abomination meme as a license to hate and kill people. Is it ok with God that I never go to church again? What about those potential future children? Kids need some grounding - just not indoctrination into falsehood.
Sigh. Big sigh. I lost all the air from a wheel on my truck a while back. I just need to patch it and reflate. Or replace it all together. Be positive, have a plan, be aware of the potholes, dodge the potholes don't drive over them underestimating how deep they are and keep moving. Don't stop. Don't give up.
Here's one of my favorite songs, "Secret Smile" by Semisonic. This was during the time they had that huge hit, "Closing Time". I hated that song, but when this was released I was like, all melty inside. I love this song. The video not so much. I have no idea why I like this song so much. It was a quirky song and slightly melancholic. It's about 10 years old but I still like it. Go figure.
I need to give myself lots of pep talks these days. I am struggling and want to be more positive, positive period, because thoughts become actions so the saying goes. I need some things to change in my life. Namely where I live and how I live. I need to earn a living doing what I love, not just have a j-o-b. Yes it is a privilege but I have not been nor will I ever be happy settling for less. Believe me I have tried. It has something to do with why I am currently unemployed [that and a former employer bad-mouthing me] and though I KNOW I have to work and have no problem doing so I have to take a new direction. I also need a new place to live and have been dreaming about living by Duboce Park or Duboce Triangle. It is not easy finding a vacancy in these areas and quite a few people who rent have to share apartments. Thanks to low availability and over-inflated real estate I could very well have to pay $1000+ to share a small apartment with a bedroom the size of a closet.
Am I being negative again? Argh! I have a serious problem with perfectionism and being too hard on myself. I can be my own worst enemy. It only makes the real-life obstacles that present themselves all the more defeating. I have done many brave things in my life. I've made more than my share of mistakes. Mistakes should not be the death of us. Failure should not be the measure of how we define ourselves, as in if you don't have ___________ you are one.
I also need to be out socializing and making friends....but being a hermit and feeling slightly alienated from the world has some appeal right now. As for dating...I want the perfect guy for me to just appear out of the blue and not have to do anything but be. Yeah I am delusional. I am weary. I could just give up trying to have this dream of a great life I've envisioned for myself but I think that would be the end of me. Without hope there is nothing. Did I mention I want three kids as well? One of which will be adopted, due to the excessive number of Black children left in foster care.
I'm also still looking for a church I can call home or be able to accept that I will be dissatisfied on some level with "religion" because people are not perfect and many men have bastardized religious texts to keep control over people, esp. women. And I've never felt right with the gay is an abomination meme as a license to hate and kill people. Is it ok with God that I never go to church again? What about those potential future children? Kids need some grounding - just not indoctrination into falsehood.
Sigh. Big sigh. I lost all the air from a wheel on my truck a while back. I just need to patch it and reflate. Or replace it all together. Be positive, have a plan, be aware of the potholes, dodge the potholes don't drive over them underestimating how deep they are and keep moving. Don't stop. Don't give up.
Here's one of my favorite songs, "Secret Smile" by Semisonic. This was during the time they had that huge hit, "Closing Time". I hated that song, but when this was released I was like, all melty inside. I love this song. The video not so much. I have no idea why I like this song so much. It was a quirky song and slightly melancholic. It's about 10 years old but I still like it. Go figure.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
This Video By Royksopp is Deep
When Poor Leno was released I loved it. Then I saw the video. It always makes me cry. What a way to make a statement.
More Thoughts on the Indoctrination of You Are Not Enough Meme
The media and big corporations rake in billions from making us feel like crap. I think it is even more damaging to women and girls of color, especially in the United States, because the promoted standard of beauty starts with and ends with white women. Typically that is the only promoted definition of "woman".
It's funny though because I once found a religious text that defined the word W-O-M-A-N as soft. Yes.....SOFT. Some thesaurus examples of soft are: satiny, peaceful, smooth, comfortable and not harsh. Yeah we can be brazen and raucous, too!
Whenever I think how that displays itself in romantic liaisons [from an admitted hetero perspective] I think how men tend to be more compact and sinewy. You touch them and they can have muscles that are hard. Their hands tend to be rough as well [manicures and lotion are always a good idea]. So I can imagine as a contrast how comforting it must be for them to touch a woman. I'm not talking about BMI [which is not reliable] or suggesting that women can't be muscular as well. It can be a nice give and take situation to explore.....
Anyway back to the subject at hand.
Our self-esteem can take a nose-dive when we're bombarded by messages that tell us we're not good enough. Yes we can take actions to counterbalance that but we need to recognize it for what it is. It's a massive campaign effort to get us off focus, absorbed in doubts about our worth and take away our focus from doing the greater good. And don't forget getting our money.
You know Harriet Tubman wasn't worried about getting older. She didn't base her worth of having the latest gadget, outfit or hairdo. I'm sure she struggled with just getting enough food to eat period. She could have just gone on with her life after she decided on an uncertain future - but one of her choosing when she decided to escape from being enslaved. Not only did she succeed but she couldn't accept that others were left behind and went to save as many who were willing to take a chance. She had a belief system and acted on it. She had a plan and committed to it. Failure would have meant death. If she had been born this century I wonder what she would have become? Would she have been portrayed by some in the media as being an "Angry Black Woman" for speaking out on post-colonization and the roots of poverty?
I struggle with trying to live an authentic life while being true to myself. I struggle with defining myself by MY standards and no one else's - including my family's. I know that I have a lot of privileges in comparison to many throughout the world, but I also have certain obstacles that are unique to my gender and race. Including lousy pay. I've seen the salaries for jobs decrease while every staple [housing, food, etc] has greatly increased. If women were paid on par with men and had equal opportunities for business ventures we could support our families and move away from poverty.
We can't undo past hurts or present mistakes, but we can move forward as best we can towards a brighter future. That future may not encompass all the things we desire but will prayerfully include the things we need. In the meantime we have future generations of young women [and men] to nurture and protect.
And just for the record I like latte macchiatos, well-made shoes and traveling to foreign countries. I have an in-born affinity for luxury. I am a Leo afterall! But I also realize that attaining that "American Dream" extols a high-price on the rest of the world being that so many have to be left in abject poverty to support it. Being the descendant of those enslaved whose income helped fund the War of Independence and the building of this country while receiving no acknowledgement of that contribution has not gone unnoticed.
So before I totally spin off to a new tangent let me bring this back to my original point. Despite all the distractions and noise I see a clear path of a certain direction we can take to empower women. We are the ones who have inspired and led movements. When Christ was resurrected the first person he went to was Mary Magdalene. I'm not so sure I buy the theory that she was a sex worker [prostitute], I think she was someone who didn't conform to male patriarchy, which depending on where we live could result in so-called honor killings or being referred to as a whore by the National Enquirer. Shirley Chisholm ran for POTUS in 1972. She was not supported on a large scale by the self-appointed leaders of the feminist movement, but she did it anyway. Benazir Bhutto set aside her fears to fight for her country even under the threat of death. She paid the ultimate price but offered a powerful example of a person who would not take the easy route. Phoolan Devi was another brave woman who defied her society's definition of what her place should be.
So.....Dove has been promoting their Campaign for Real Beauty where they try to counterbalance the negative aspects of the beauty industry [and selling products]. Yeah, it's a double-edged sword but dang it for being clever. I still give it the side-eye. Now the irony is that this commercial I'm posting comes from an advertising agency, but the thing is, they KNOW their demographics and how to sell products. But we gotta have lip gloss. What we don't need is to think we're incomplete without it.
It's funny though because I once found a religious text that defined the word W-O-M-A-N as soft. Yes.....SOFT. Some thesaurus examples of soft are: satiny, peaceful, smooth, comfortable and not harsh. Yeah we can be brazen and raucous, too!
Whenever I think how that displays itself in romantic liaisons [from an admitted hetero perspective] I think how men tend to be more compact and sinewy. You touch them and they can have muscles that are hard. Their hands tend to be rough as well [manicures and lotion are always a good idea]. So I can imagine as a contrast how comforting it must be for them to touch a woman. I'm not talking about BMI [which is not reliable] or suggesting that women can't be muscular as well. It can be a nice give and take situation to explore.....
Anyway back to the subject at hand.
Our self-esteem can take a nose-dive when we're bombarded by messages that tell us we're not good enough. Yes we can take actions to counterbalance that but we need to recognize it for what it is. It's a massive campaign effort to get us off focus, absorbed in doubts about our worth and take away our focus from doing the greater good. And don't forget getting our money.
You know Harriet Tubman wasn't worried about getting older. She didn't base her worth of having the latest gadget, outfit or hairdo. I'm sure she struggled with just getting enough food to eat period. She could have just gone on with her life after she decided on an uncertain future - but one of her choosing when she decided to escape from being enslaved. Not only did she succeed but she couldn't accept that others were left behind and went to save as many who were willing to take a chance. She had a belief system and acted on it. She had a plan and committed to it. Failure would have meant death. If she had been born this century I wonder what she would have become? Would she have been portrayed by some in the media as being an "Angry Black Woman" for speaking out on post-colonization and the roots of poverty?
I struggle with trying to live an authentic life while being true to myself. I struggle with defining myself by MY standards and no one else's - including my family's. I know that I have a lot of privileges in comparison to many throughout the world, but I also have certain obstacles that are unique to my gender and race. Including lousy pay. I've seen the salaries for jobs decrease while every staple [housing, food, etc] has greatly increased. If women were paid on par with men and had equal opportunities for business ventures we could support our families and move away from poverty.
We can't undo past hurts or present mistakes, but we can move forward as best we can towards a brighter future. That future may not encompass all the things we desire but will prayerfully include the things we need. In the meantime we have future generations of young women [and men] to nurture and protect.
And just for the record I like latte macchiatos, well-made shoes and traveling to foreign countries. I have an in-born affinity for luxury. I am a Leo afterall! But I also realize that attaining that "American Dream" extols a high-price on the rest of the world being that so many have to be left in abject poverty to support it. Being the descendant of those enslaved whose income helped fund the War of Independence and the building of this country while receiving no acknowledgement of that contribution has not gone unnoticed.
So before I totally spin off to a new tangent let me bring this back to my original point. Despite all the distractions and noise I see a clear path of a certain direction we can take to empower women. We are the ones who have inspired and led movements. When Christ was resurrected the first person he went to was Mary Magdalene. I'm not so sure I buy the theory that she was a sex worker [prostitute], I think she was someone who didn't conform to male patriarchy, which depending on where we live could result in so-called honor killings or being referred to as a whore by the National Enquirer. Shirley Chisholm ran for POTUS in 1972. She was not supported on a large scale by the self-appointed leaders of the feminist movement, but she did it anyway. Benazir Bhutto set aside her fears to fight for her country even under the threat of death. She paid the ultimate price but offered a powerful example of a person who would not take the easy route. Phoolan Devi was another brave woman who defied her society's definition of what her place should be.
So.....Dove has been promoting their Campaign for Real Beauty where they try to counterbalance the negative aspects of the beauty industry [and selling products]. Yeah, it's a double-edged sword but dang it for being clever. I still give it the side-eye. Now the irony is that this commercial I'm posting comes from an advertising agency, but the thing is, they KNOW their demographics and how to sell products. But we gotta have lip gloss. What we don't need is to think we're incomplete without it.
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