tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689654975245458947.post3624768566835732445..comments2023-07-16T03:58:42.088-07:00Comments on Acts of Faith In Love and Life: So Let's Talk About This Supposed Mass Dysfunction of Black WomenFaith at Acts of Faith Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02150553143062604249noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689654975245458947.post-27695178929849731082009-04-22T09:31:00.000-07:002009-04-22T09:31:00.000-07:00Borther OMi: I think what you said in your closing...Borther OMi: I think what you said in your closing reply covers it: most people want someone else to do the heavy lifting for them. Now you helped that woman and I'm glad nothing happened to you for reaching out to someone else. IF that woman actually stays "gone" from that relationship and does whatever she needs to reclaim her life that's the divestment I'm talking about. Otherwise you just risked your neck for nothing. That's what I'm talking about where BW are concerned. They are needlessly risking their necks living under the fallacy they can't change their circumstances or move out of dangerous neighborhoods. As to not being able to afford it: other people are just as poor or receiving welfare benefits but they're not all living in these cesspools. Regardless of what it is we have to overcome if we want to change it we can.Faith at Acts of Faith Bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02150553143062604249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689654975245458947.post-86415492784620894932009-04-21T14:13:00.000-07:002009-04-21T14:13:00.000-07:00I think you missed my point. I am not laying the b...I think you missed my point. I am not laying the blame on Black women. Not at all. <br /><br />I should have been clear though. WHile the stat of 70% of births in the Black community are out of wedlock (a stat we really haven't analyzed and fully discussed but we like to throw around ALL the time), I don't think i can convince a gang of men to marry them. THe problem is here, now. What I see however, is people attempting to run away from the problem instead of engaging it. <br /><br />JUST the other day, a young lady ran up to me to tell me to help her since her boyfriend beat her. I CHOSE to confront him and CHOSE to protect her. What scared me is that she had NO ONE To turn to but a complete stranger. THat's sad. THat's divestment at it's worst. Now don't get me wrong, I don't know the young woman's history with her boyfriend (well her mom never showed up even though she called her at least ten times -- and her mother never called my phone AFTER the fact) but where is she going to go? She can't move out of the 'hood.<br /><br />the divestment i mean and that you touched upon is how we ALL (BM and BW) tend to pull out or refuse to get involved. <br /><br />I can safely say that MOST people want better. Yet the problem is that MOST people want SOMEONE else to do better for them.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13205384167481897308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689654975245458947.post-41118489760734946422009-04-18T23:05:00.000-07:002009-04-18T23:05:00.000-07:00Hagar's Daughter: You were in the trenches so you'...Hagar's Daughter: You were in the trenches so you'd definitely have a better idea than I of those that live amongst the depravity. People aren't considering that some ( a lot?) don't want to change. I had a conversation at another blog earlier with a male blogger who considers himself progressive but he made a derogatory statement about another woman. He refused to acknowledge it but tried to claim we were all on the same side while still inserting hi male privilege. He'd be one of he first to complain about racial discrimination but won't divest from his gender bias. I'm just reminded that everyone is not our friend.Faith at Acts of Faith Bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02150553143062604249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689654975245458947.post-24230400298902809422009-04-18T17:37:00.000-07:002009-04-18T17:37:00.000-07:00Faith,
Amen. No one can force another person to c...Faith,<br /><br />Amen. No one can force another person to change. Offering help to someone who doesn't want to be helped is useless.<br /><br />It seems that many persons think that everyone WANTS better. I think it's difficult for a lot of black folks to believe that there are those who actually choose to think, plan, and do evil things. There are large groups of blacks who actually desire to be criminals, who could not care less about the quality of education their children receive, and who want to be breeders.<br /><br />I have worked with clients who actual have this mindset that enjoyed, actually thrived, in cesspool environments. <br /><br />During my first year as a social worker I had to start therapy. After 3 years in the trenches I transferred to a different program. I wasn't paid enough to deal with that madness. In fact there is no amount of money worth it.Hagar's Daughterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05329175102157599795noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689654975245458947.post-22575006396964585142009-04-18T08:34:00.000-07:002009-04-18T08:34:00.000-07:00I clearly don't agree with you. The departure of s...I clearly don't agree with you. The departure of some Black families out of all Black neighborhoods after Civil Rights (when the areas were still somewhat intact) is completely different from what I'm talking about today. <br /><br />There wasn't a 70% out of wedlock birth rate and 70% unmarried status for BW. The majority of BM had not yet abandoned these neighborhoods and BW for their "greener"...er whiter...pastures. And I'm not stating this from an emotional or angry perspective. It's a fact. <br /><br />Women don't get pregnant by themselves and clearly the fathers of all of these kids aren't around. What I also didn't mention is the high abortion rate of BW which I find almost shocking considering the percentage of births that are taken to term. That rate of OOW births could likely be 85% factoring that in. And that's insane to me!! <br /><br />I do agree with your point about the effects of segregation. That was part of the BIG failure of the movement. The second was that BW took a back seat for the sake of the "race" assuming BM would carry them along after the "victory" and they were completely blind-sided by THAT mass divestment. <br /><br />Blacks sought integration not equality. When they left they didn't replace another infrastructure in its place, but as I stated it was also the abandonment of the best and brightest BM one by one that really led to this current state. Children need both parents and a man cannot be taught how to be a man by a woman! <br /><br />As for what's going on today, BW who value their lives and the lives of their children must leave. No amount of discussion about the stay and fight argument jibes with me. Definitely not from people who don't live in these dangerous residential areas. I've never lived around this element but for me there is an emotional component of conjuring up the time of my youth when the entire neighborhood looked out for each other. <br /><br />I also used to feel guilty about not wanting to hang around certain people or be in other people's neighborhoods if I noticed they were worse than mine. I was thinking through a race-based lens but my natural instincts were warning me of the differences and the potential danger.<br /><br />It's interesting you brought up school. If you and your wife were one of the few fighting for better quality and you were surrounded by others who didn't see the value in that do you think that would actually help YOUR child to be in such an environment? Have you not read about the little boy Carl Joseph Walker Hoover who hung himself because he was being bullied. HIS mother tried to demand higher standards and the school IGNORED her and look what happened. <br /><br />My motto is: Take care of yourself first!! Don't try to fix, save, rescue or worry about anybody else when you are in not in a secure and stable life situation.<br /><br />If more BW were doing this we'd be in a much better position.Faith at Acts of Faith Bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02150553143062604249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689654975245458947.post-56721928702611799752009-04-18T06:46:00.000-07:002009-04-18T06:46:00.000-07:00divestment is easier said than done for most folks...divestment is easier said than done for most folks. And we have to explore that question further: isn't divestment PART of the problem. <br /><br />Look at what happened to certain black and functional black neighborhoods AFTER segregation. <br /><br />I had an ill debate with a colleague about home schooling. While I think home schooling is a wonderful idea what about setting examples for other families in your neighborhood by attending a local school and demanding a quality education? I can't begin to count the many children my wife and I have mentored and how many married/unmarried couples we have counseled. <br /><br />Wouldn't we be abandoning THEM if we just pulled out?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13205384167481897308noreply@blogger.com