tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689654975245458947.post3570552255248430917..comments2023-07-16T03:58:42.088-07:00Comments on Acts of Faith In Love and Life: The Tale of Banita Jacks: Another Unsupported Black Mother Cracks & Commits FilicideFaith at Acts of Faith Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02150553143062604249noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689654975245458947.post-7327275203425945112009-07-30T20:32:45.085-07:002009-07-30T20:32:45.085-07:00What to say? What to say? There is this idea that ...What to say? What to say? There is this idea that black women are sitting at home waiting for a welfare check. That is so far from the truth, it's pathetic. The application process for most "aid" is so much torture that it's easier to get accepted to Harvard.<br /><br />In almost any homeless or domestic violence shelter I've been in, the women work. Usually, the only time they move to apply for aid or child support is when the facility or state requires it. In my state if you apply for ANYTHING, it is mandatory that the other parent is first contacted & a demand for support made. <br /><br />Many are afraid to apply because they don't want to be found for safety reasons. Others are degraded by the process and avoid it. <br /><br />Shelters are not free (another misconception); rent is paid, usually on a sliding scale.<br /><br />The thing I see affecting women most in shelters, other than violence, is STRESS (manifesting in mild to serious mental illness). These illnesses can be so debilitating that they can't sit down and do the paperwork to apply for assistance or do the things necessary to get themselves straight or care for their children. When I nag them long enough, they will eventually break down and admit that they simply "can't do it" anymore. <br /><br />It is not pleasant to watch a mother try to literally give you her child as you try to convince her that SHE CAN DO IT! <br /><br />But, what do I know? <br /><br />I've never had to decide if I should keep the job at the fast food chain that brings in $700.00 a month for me & three kids or quit the job and go on public assistance while i live in my car.<br /><br />I've never had a state tell me (letter came shortly after this client died) that though I had breast cancer which had spread from brain to bone, that I do not qualify for assistance, & further, the state health insurance for the children is increasing from approx $700 to $1,000, leaving me with $300 from my disability check for me and three children.<br /><br />On that last client, the kids were rescued & we got them placed in another state days before her death. She worked like a dog all her life. She took her nursing boards weeks before her death even though she could barely keep her eyes open. She'd walk to chemo with her two little ones helping her along the way (Oh, I'm still pissed & crying). She had approximately $50.00 left in her shelter account. SHE NEVER GAVE UP ON HERSELF OR HER KIDS, BUT EVERYONE GAVE UP ON HER. I'm still pissed over this client, & that was 2005.<br /><br />Oh, there is hell to pay over the way we treat our women and children.BLUEBUTTERFLYhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01586633771700046340noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689654975245458947.post-86269203154796169072009-07-30T07:24:13.470-07:002009-07-30T07:24:13.470-07:00Brother OMi: I believe there were at least 2 sperm...Brother OMi: I believe there were at least 2 sperm donors not involved, possibly 3. Which is the point of course. No one is around to protect the children and if they're part of the working or underclass they are going to be in serious trouble. Mayor Fenty is trying to piece together what local agencies had contact with Banita Jacks and how they failed her. Perhaps in the future they might be able to snatch a few people from the jaws of destruction before it's too late. I don't think that's gonna happen though. Not without a change in behavior on the part of black women staying away from these no quality men.Faith at Acts of Faith Bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02150553143062604249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6689654975245458947.post-40603930766928547082009-07-30T05:04:43.815-07:002009-07-30T05:04:43.815-07:00when i heard this story all i could do is cry. but...when i heard this story all i could do is cry. but that was my first question: where is the father? <br /><br />It's crazy because i know someone going through something like this right now. it's tough. we help out as much as we can. Even our babies give a helping hand (which makes me cry as well - tears of joy). <br /><br />Yet this is the tip of the iceberg.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13205384167481897308noreply@blogger.com