I know this meme is shared amidst numerous black bloggers so we can stroll down memory lane. I'm sure the meme creators hadn't thought about this at the time but with such a high out of wedlock birth and unmarried rate amongst black women, having a wedding song will become a thing of the past. Unless and until black women stop relying exclusively on race as the chief determining factor in selecting a mate. In other words, the majority (who are hetero) will be live alone, have children alone and likely die alone UNLESS THEY SEEK HIGH CALIBER MEN OF ALL RACES.
So please by all means, have that wedding song - at YOUR wedding. Let's have marriage equality passed AND cross-cultural/intra-racial unions. I immediately thought of the song, "Always" but I couldn't remember the group name. This is such a beautiful song and I remember singing it in my youth and I hadn't thought much of it at the time. This is a song about NORMATIVE relations between two people. They are in love. They decide to share their lives together. They start a family. They want to make the other person has their needs met. The cherish what they share together.
This is what I listened to. Now the kids get some variation of sexing every female who's willing. Wow. See the depravity? The devaluation of healthy relationships into animalistic tendencies with no self-control, no respect. That's not progress that's a complete disaster! Anyway, let's reflect on something pleasant and make every effort to bring this back!
Atlantic Starr Always "Live"
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfcu8xNoYhY
Girl you are to me, all that a woman should be,
And I dedicate my life to you always
The love like yours is grand,
It must have been sent from up above
And I know you'll stay this way, for always
And we both know, that our love will grow
And forever it will be you and me
Ooh your life is sun,
Chasing all the rain away,
When you come around you bring a brighter day
You're the perfect one
For me and you forever we'll be
And I will love you so for always
Came with me my sweet,
Let's go make a family,
And they will bring us joy, for always
Oh boy I love your soul,
I can't find enough ways to let you know
But you can be sure of course, for always
And we both know, that our love will grow
And forever it will be you and me
Ooh your life is sun,
Chasing all the rain away,
When you come around you bring a brighter day
You're the perfect one
For me and you forever we'll be
And I will love you so for always
Ooh your life is sun,
Chasing all the rain away,
When you come around you bring a brighter day
You're the perfect one
For me and you forever we'll be
And I will love you so for always
I will love you so, for always
Atlantic Starr were the JAM! LOVED that group...
There were so many wonderful groups in the 80's.
So many positive lyrics.
EVERY woman (I'm speaking to those who specifically wish to get married) should hold her desired first wedding song CLOSE to her heart.
When it's played it's like MAGIC.
Our thoughts often become self fulfilling prophecies. So it's important to think positively, and most importantly ACT positively. Meaning, in ways that increase the likelihood of bringing those dreams into fruition.
I'll never forget my wedding day and the two receptions (in the Bay Area and Germany) that followed.
Surrounded by family and friends from around the world.
The majority of men world wide STILL believe in marriage. They're STILL willing to make that commitment to a woman and take delight in rearing their young. So... AA BW simply need to leave their polluted murky ponds and join the rest of humanity in the clear blue sea where normative gender roles are the RULE instead of the exception.
Felicia: I'm SF based (though I decided to not actively volunteer such info anymore). Do you still live in NoCal? You're free to not answer that. I almost posted the lyrics but I was trying to keep the post short. I took it for granted that groups like that with positive messages (forgetting Secret Lovers, lol) would ALWAYS be around. Who knew the darkness was just around the corner? Well...many don't. The power of positive thinking. Sometimes I used to think it was silly to fantasize about these things - and we don't want to select magical thinking but being positive and expecting a good future is different.
ReplyDeleteFaith,
ReplyDeleteMy German husband and I live in the Midwest. I left the Bay Area close to 8 years ago.
It was the best decision I could have made.
Because I swear, the standard of living in California has gone WAY down since I've left.
Most of my female friends from back home feel STUCK and are still single.
The years are passing and t's like time has stood still (or gone backwards) when I go home to visit.
Anyway...
My hubby has a great career here, our standard of living is fantastic, and I'm a content stay at home mom.
Life couldn't be better.
BW who wish to thrive instead of simply surviving, are going to have to go out on a limb and GRASP whatever life they wish for themselves.
They're going to have to take risks and put themselves out there.
Because if they don't, they stand a VERY HIGH risk of having MAJOR regrets on their death beds.
Life is for living and living (and loving) WELL.
Felicia: Thank you for sharing. It is so good to be able to read about a BW living abundantly just being a regular person. No celeb fantasy lifestyle required.
ReplyDeleteI like that: "No celeb fantasy lifestyle required." I couldn't agree more.
ReplyDeleteI tend not to give marital advice to non-married women because I know all situations are different. But I do like to point out that a "good marriage" is not like something out of the movies. The Mister and I will celebrate 16 years this fall. We are not glamorous by any means, and really each day involves risk taking to some degree--risking being wrong, being right w/out gloating, giving in sometimes w/out "keeping tabs," maintaining your own personhood even while united, etc etc.
No, not the stuff of fantasy. But worth it.
PPR_Scribe: Thanks for mentioning that. Actually if the OOW births are a proper indication a lot of women do NOT know what a "regular and realistic but healthy" marriage is. People can take info, use what they need and discard the rest but being able to read about it is VERY BENEFICIAL. So share away with whatever you feel is important. I can like back to your blog. You may not think you're helping but good information is like an unearthed pearl.
ReplyDelete